They didn't, no. He always wanted to use them for Manwol-- I didn't want to push too hard to support that in case it was too obvious, but with multiple people telling him to use them for Sagihara, I think he felt he had to lie to justify not doing so.
...that's why it was a little difficult to reconcile. If they didn't trust us, fine, but...
[logically, reasonably-- one person's suffering for one night doesn't outweigh saving additional lives. she likely would have done something very similar. but it's hard not to have an emotional reaction to it after the time she's spent trying to hold him together.]
I don't think it was easy for them, or necessarily intentional. It's just that so much could have been avoided.
[He's quiet for a long minute, drumming his hands against his leg, trying to think what he's going to say.]
Ichiro is very young, and more innocent than he thinks he is. He is hurting very badly, and if what he needs right now is to be hurt at Dimitri and Luxanna, then I understand that. But. . . it is also painful for me to see, when I know Luxanna has been suffering so badly for weeks and weeks now. I haven't been able to do anything to help her all this time. [. . .] She hides it well, but she is young, too. She tries so hard to be strong for everyone, but being the source of everyone's anger all this time has taken its toll on her.
A little kindness towards her, even if she was thoughtless. . . she has been doing this since Rupert died. That long.
I know. I can't fault the decision-- the results were just...
[a pause, a slow sigh.]
I don't know how much I'm really going to be able to do for her, when she and Dimitri were so intent on taking everything upon themselves. We insisted on taking some of that burden ourselves if this had continued for another week, on being the ones to handle it, and they both refused to even have the conversation.
Maybe not. [He smiles a little at that, rueful. She is so stubborn. She runs from everyone.]
Anyway, I do not claim she has done nothing wrong. Only that I want to see her find a way to put this behind her and be the woman she was supposed to be, ja? It is a bit painful, when we spent so long early on discussing her ideals. I think she will be someone very good, if she does not remain mired in all of her self-doubts.
[And he takes this a little personally, too. The man I was supposed to be was lost a long time ago, but it is not too late for her.]
You were there, so perhaps there are ways you can help her I cannot. That's all I ask.
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[logically, reasonably-- one person's suffering for one night doesn't outweigh saving additional lives. she likely would have done something very similar. but it's hard not to have an emotional reaction to it after the time she's spent trying to hold him together.]
I don't think it was easy for them, or necessarily intentional. It's just that so much could have been avoided.
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[He's quiet for a long minute, drumming his hands against his leg, trying to think what he's going to say.]
Ichiro is very young, and more innocent than he thinks he is. He is hurting very badly, and if what he needs right now is to be hurt at Dimitri and Luxanna, then I understand that. But. . . it is also painful for me to see, when I know Luxanna has been suffering so badly for weeks and weeks now. I haven't been able to do anything to help her all this time. [. . .] She hides it well, but she is young, too. She tries so hard to be strong for everyone, but being the source of everyone's anger all this time has taken its toll on her.
A little kindness towards her, even if she was thoughtless. . . she has been doing this since Rupert died. That long.
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[a pause, a slow sigh.]
I don't know how much I'm really going to be able to do for her, when she and Dimitri were so intent on taking everything upon themselves. We insisted on taking some of that burden ourselves if this had continued for another week, on being the ones to handle it, and they both refused to even have the conversation.
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Not that I'm not willing to try, I just don't know if either of them is going to hear me out.
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Anyway, I do not claim she has done nothing wrong. Only that I want to see her find a way to put this behind her and be the woman she was supposed to be, ja? It is a bit painful, when we spent so long early on discussing her ideals. I think she will be someone very good, if she does not remain mired in all of her self-doubts.
[And he takes this a little personally, too. The man I was supposed to be was lost a long time ago, but it is not too late for her.]
You were there, so perhaps there are ways you can help her I cannot. That's all I ask.
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[lux sure does run though... it might take some doing, but she can try.
that thought of his gives her pause, though, and after a moment of quiet:]
You've done some good here too, I hope you know.