I think it comes and goes. I talked to Ichiro earlier and I'm sure I remembered everything for part of that conversation, but now I have no idea.
[thanks, she hates it.]
But I do. I know who all of you are. I don't exactly know why I have the opinions I do about anyone, but I have those impressions, sort of, I remember things you've all said and done before. My end of it is just... absent.
To be honest with you I'm working mostly off of what feels right at the time and I couldn't tell you how well it's working, but it's an improvement on how it felt before we came back.
[it just. felt important, somehow, to try to go on with things. to be as okay as possible given the absolute what the fuckery of this situation instead of losing her mind about it. it's a little hard.]
Your name is Lucretia. You are a powerful magic user. You are very intelligent and resourceful. You are the director of the Bureau of Balance, an organization that seeks to locate dangerous artifacts that will do harm in the world to keep them from doing harm. You once gave up years of your life to obtain one of these artifacts. You are. . . a person who is willing to make difficult decisions if it is for a good cause. You care deeply for your friends and companions. Four of those companions are named Taako, Magnus, Merle, and Lup.
[He considers something for a moment - that wooden arm. Would he have seen it in the Wonderland memory he got?]
[she's writing, as he speaks. noting this down for when she doesn't know it later, with an occasional nod at the facts he lays out. there's a somewhat troubled feeling when he mentions giving up years of her life, that willingness to make difficult decisions-- she thought she had some idea of how old she was but evidently even that was off? god.
he would have seen the arm in that memory though, yes!
she doesn't add anything for a few moments after setting the pen down, but she does continue.]
I still can't remember any of it, even with the reminder, but I'll make a note to myself to read this the next time this happens. At least then I'll have some idea, so... thank you.
[another pause, another sort of feeling of uncertainty. she knows who people are, but parts are still missing; she feels like she does trust he'd tell the truth about the things he said, but she wonders about something else, after.]
I'm not very familiar with the person I normally am, right now, but I want to ask you something else. What do you think of me?
[she's considering one or two of those facts, again. a thing or two she skimmed over in her own notes that she doesn't remember ever writing. she only has those words to know what kind of person she actually is.]
[Hmm. A little awkwardness here, as he's asked to answer something very personal, and he's not exactly good at doing so. But he also understands the question, so he will try to answer in his own Caleb way.]
. . . You are quite important to a number of people here. You are the type of person people can trust and rely upon in a crisis. You have a great amount of intelligence and capability, and as best I can tell you use that for good. You have made mistakes, but they have been made out of love, and you have worked to correct them.
[the initial awkwardness gets an apologetic sort of feeling, but she doesn't take the question back-- and it does feel like it's somewhat reassuring, to hear. if that's who she is... okay, well, she doesn't feel like the most reliable individual in the world right now when there's so much she just can't remember, but it still helps to hear.
after a few moments of silence:]
I might not have the full context, right now, but-- I do know enough to feel as if I think highly of you, as well.
[the sense of it is there, even if she can't remember things like why she felt like there'd be some understanding, here, she had no idea they were Both wizards until like a minute ago.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[thanks, she hates it.]
But I do. I know who all of you are. I don't exactly know why I have the opinions I do about anyone, but I have those impressions, sort of, I remember things you've all said and done before. My end of it is just... absent.
To be honest with you I'm working mostly off of what feels right at the time and I couldn't tell you how well it's working, but it's an improvement on how it felt before we came back.
[it just. felt important, somehow, to try to go on with things. to be as okay as possible given the absolute what the fuckery of this situation instead of losing her mind about it. it's a little hard.]
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If you'd tell me, then I'd like to know.
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[He smiles a little, trying to reassure.]
Your name is Lucretia. You are a powerful magic user. You are very intelligent and resourceful. You are the director of the Bureau of Balance, an organization that seeks to locate dangerous artifacts that will do harm in the world to keep them from doing harm. You once gave up years of your life to obtain one of these artifacts. You are. . . a person who is willing to make difficult decisions if it is for a good cause. You care deeply for your friends and companions. Four of those companions are named Taako, Magnus, Merle, and Lup.
[He considers something for a moment - that wooden arm. Would he have seen it in the Wonderland memory he got?]
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he would have seen the arm in that memory though, yes!
she doesn't add anything for a few moments after setting the pen down, but she does continue.]
I still can't remember any of it, even with the reminder, but I'll make a note to myself to read this the next time this happens. At least then I'll have some idea, so... thank you.
[another pause, another sort of feeling of uncertainty. she knows who people are, but parts are still missing; she feels like she does trust he'd tell the truth about the things he said, but she wonders about something else, after.]
I'm not very familiar with the person I normally am, right now, but I want to ask you something else. What do you think of me?
[she's considering one or two of those facts, again. a thing or two she skimmed over in her own notes that she doesn't remember ever writing. she only has those words to know what kind of person she actually is.]
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. . . You are quite important to a number of people here. You are the type of person people can trust and rely upon in a crisis. You have a great amount of intelligence and capability, and as best I can tell you use that for good. You have made mistakes, but they have been made out of love, and you have worked to correct them.
So I think highly of you, I suppose.
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after a few moments of silence:]
I might not have the full context, right now, but-- I do know enough to feel as if I think highly of you, as well.
[the sense of it is there, even if she can't remember things like why she felt like there'd be some understanding, here, she had no idea they were Both wizards until like a minute ago.]
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Thank you, Lucretia. I'm glad to hear it.
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Of course.
I'm sorry, I know this must be... strange to deal with.
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[Yes, her forgetting is strange, but he's dealt with it before. Nothing to do but make it easier how he can.]