Pff. I don't think you have to do anything to deserve good food.
[ he smiles back!! genuine. ] Besides, I couldn't even hold them myself, so we made a good team. And after a day like today, think we all need a little comfort food. You know?
...yeah. I was feeling pretty shitty at the beginning of the week, too, but you and Beau really did a lot for me, and I was starting to feel better. I could see why it might not've been super obvious. [ sometimes your mental health is bad, actually? ]
The trip was really bad, I ... [ ... he trails off a little, here, looking away, and some of the good nature fades. ] ... I didn't protect Mabel nearly as well as I should have.
...but, uh, I don't think I'd ever call myself a "side character" normally.
Yeah... [ a kicked puppy... the comparison makes his cheeks flush, a little embarrassed, and he rubs the back of his neck. ]
...I know. I'm pretty sure it's not. And - I guess, if she wasn't there, I probably wouldn't have gotten nearly as fucked up as I did trying to make it stop, anyway. [ sometimes you are a stupid protagonist who loves to protect other people, and sometimes you've devoted a lot of your life to protecting kids, and... sometimes, you're put in places that make that impossible. ] ...I just wish I'd been able to do better.
But... we had all the healing, at least. [ the bright side! ] So we're okay.
[Don't be embarrassed, Mandi is the kicked puppy, not you. He looks a little embarrassed that he made Ichiro feel awkward.]
. . . That's how it is, right? You are there with a child like her, so all you can do is try to protect her as best you can, and trust that there are others who can help her too when you get out.
I always, uhm, felt relieved, every time I started one of these things and saw the people there with me. Sagihara, Dimitri, Byleth, Mollymauk. . . at the time, I wasn't sure Rupert could protect himself, but now I know he could. Because there is only so much I know I could do to keep myself safe, let alone someone else.
[ please!!! he feels bad that he made caleb think he was still so fucked up after he helped him so much earlier in the week, so they're even.
he reaches over to pop a korokke in his mouth, nodding along, and then, thoughtfully: ]
...yeah. Y'know... the battles and stuff - what you guys had to do. [ the mention of rupert reminded him of this, too. his heart squeezes a little with it. ] My little brothers do that with me - we're in a division together. I didn't originally want them to do it, because it's so dangerous, and they're... I mean Hope and Saburo are the same age.
But the two of them have proven to me that they're strong. It took a lot of hard work, and they're both still growing, but it's why I try hard to listen, when Hope and the others talk about what's happened to them, and that they can handle it. At the same time, though, it's why I want to protect them, you know? I had to learn when to back off and let my brothers grow. [ he laughs, a little, reaching up to scratch his cheek with one hand. ] It was a really hard lesson to learn.
I wanna let them stand on their own feet. [ ... ] But, I think a part of me's always gonna try and shield them from everything I can. 's reckless, probably. I guess I'm still learning that lesson, huh.
[He takes a sip of tea, thoughtful, a little fond listening to Ichiro talk about his brothers.]
. . . Yeah. I don't know. The things that happened to me when I was young - I always - there was a person I could have been, and because of all of that, that person is gone.
[He swallows a little.]
So these things worry me, to see. I didn't know what I wanted to do with myself for a long time, but the only thing that helps is the idea that maybe I can change things for some other children, someday. And no one else has to go through those things.
But there's something to be said for. . . for me, there was also no one around who was older who had good intentions, you know? All I had were my two dear friends, who were the same age as me and going through the same things, and we cared for each other but we also drew one another deeper into it because we didn't understand what was happening to us. And in some ways, maybe that changes things. I'm sure it does for your brothers, having you there to trust and rely on.
...yeah, yeah. [ there's immediately sympathy on ichiro's face, listening to him talk, but it leans more into empathetic, because - he hasn't been through nearly the same hell that caleb went through, as far as he can put together from what he knows, but i don't want what happened to me to happen to other kids resonates with him so, so deeply.
he smiles, then, gentler, maybe a little sheepish. ]
...'m not that young, really, compared to some of the people here, but - if it helps, you've really done a lot for me, Caleb-san. [ honest and sincere as ever. ] If it's anything like here, then you're doing a really good job.
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. . . Thank you. I don't know that my help was worthy of a whole meal.
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[ he smiles back!! genuine. ] Besides, I couldn't even hold them myself, so we made a good team. And after a day like today, think we all need a little comfort food. You know?
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[Smiling back at him.]
. . . You seem a little more yourself?
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sighs and rubs the back of his neck as he plops down to sit! ]
...yeah. I was hella cursed, huh.
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[A sheepish smile.]
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The trip was really bad, I ... [ ... he trails off a little, here, looking away, and some of the good nature fades. ] ... I didn't protect Mabel nearly as well as I should have.
...but, uh, I don't think I'd ever call myself a "side character" normally.
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[So that's a little embarrassing.]
I'm sorry it was so bad. Though. . . I don't know if it's possible to protect someone else from harm on those things, entirely.
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...I know. I'm pretty sure it's not. And - I guess, if she wasn't there, I probably wouldn't have gotten nearly as fucked up as I did trying to make it stop, anyway. [ sometimes you are a stupid protagonist who loves to protect other people, and sometimes you've devoted a lot of your life to protecting kids, and... sometimes, you're put in places that make that impossible. ] ...I just wish I'd been able to do better.
But... we had all the healing, at least. [ the bright side! ] So we're okay.
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. . . That's how it is, right? You are there with a child like her, so all you can do is try to protect her as best you can, and trust that there are others who can help her too when you get out.
I always, uhm, felt relieved, every time I started one of these things and saw the people there with me. Sagihara, Dimitri, Byleth, Mollymauk. . . at the time, I wasn't sure Rupert could protect himself, but now I know he could. Because there is only so much I know I could do to keep myself safe, let alone someone else.
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he reaches over to pop a korokke in his mouth, nodding along, and then, thoughtfully: ]
...yeah. Y'know... the battles and stuff - what you guys had to do. [ the mention of rupert reminded him of this, too. his heart squeezes a little with it. ] My little brothers do that with me - we're in a division together. I didn't originally want them to do it, because it's so dangerous, and they're... I mean Hope and Saburo are the same age.
But the two of them have proven to me that they're strong. It took a lot of hard work, and they're both still growing, but it's why I try hard to listen, when Hope and the others talk about what's happened to them, and that they can handle it. At the same time, though, it's why I want to protect them, you know? I had to learn when to back off and let my brothers grow. [ he laughs, a little, reaching up to scratch his cheek with one hand. ] It was a really hard lesson to learn.
I wanna let them stand on their own feet. [ ... ] But, I think a part of me's always gonna try and shield them from everything I can. 's reckless, probably. I guess I'm still learning that lesson, huh.
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. . . Yeah. I don't know. The things that happened to me when I was young - I always - there was a person I could have been, and because of all of that, that person is gone.
[He swallows a little.]
So these things worry me, to see. I didn't know what I wanted to do with myself for a long time, but the only thing that helps is the idea that maybe I can change things for some other children, someday. And no one else has to go through those things.
But there's something to be said for. . . for me, there was also no one around who was older who had good intentions, you know? All I had were my two dear friends, who were the same age as me and going through the same things, and we cared for each other but we also drew one another deeper into it because we didn't understand what was happening to us. And in some ways, maybe that changes things. I'm sure it does for your brothers, having you there to trust and rely on.
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he smiles, then, gentler, maybe a little sheepish. ]
...'m not that young, really, compared to some of the people here, but - if it helps, you've really done a lot for me, Caleb-san. [ honest and sincere as ever. ] If it's anything like here, then you're doing a really good job.
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. . . Uhm, thank you, Ichiro.