010. Cupcake

[katzepaw]

The Mighty Nein (no Mollymauk) are traveling through the woods. Dusk is falling, and they're all obviously exhausted, most of them slightly injured from a long journey through the dangerous woods. They are arguing over whether they should stop and make camp for the night, whether it is too dangerous to camp here versus whether they are just about to come upon the hut they are looking for too tired for a fight.

As they're arguing, they're approaching the base of the mountain, and through mist they do see a rickety cabin ahead, a broken chimney with smoke coming off of it. Caleb sends Frumpkin - in the form of a bird - ahead to look around and sees through Frumpkin's eyes, but the cat-bird doesn't see anyone about.

They discuss how to approach, but agree the woman inside is observant; anything they do to try to deceive her probably won't go well, whether they use disguises or turn invisible, and they don't want to split up. Caleb and Beau start approaching from the sides, while Yasha, the tall barbarian woman, and Fjord, the green half orc man, walk up to the door. It's slightly ajar, and there's a glow of warm light inside. They knock on the door, look around inside, and don't see anything, so come out. Nott, the little green goblin girl, goes to poke around inside with Beau behind her. Meanwhile, Fjord summons his sword and does the technique that allows him to see things that are invisible. As the rest of them are standing outside, Fjord is looking around at the trees, and then turns to look back at the hut. You see his gaze fall upon the roof, and then he goes pale, like he's seen a ghost. You can imagine what he must be seeing - the hag they are seeking, up on the roof, invisible.

"Right," he says. "Isharnai? We've come seeking a conversation."

A voice echoes through the air, scratchy, an old woman's voice but there's something inhuman about it. "Which of you visited me from afar, these past days? I would like to see the face "that held the prying eye." None of you name Jester, the blue tiefling, but your nervousness at the question, glances at her, seem to give it away.

As she speaks, she appears before everyone. She looks like an old woman, a little, but she is massive, grotesque, and nearly completely covered by a dark hooded robe. She has unnaturally long arms and legs that seem to bend in multiple places, inhumanly high cheekbones, tattered lengths of black, oily hair that spill from underneath her hood and a long, pointed jaw where the jowls hang a bit. Her eyes are piercing, glowing green. She leaps from the roof and lands on the ground next to Jester, towering over her even though her body is curved and hunched in nearly an S-shape, her shoulders slouched forward. Even with her heavy hunch she is over six feet tall. Her robes are a mottled and stained grey brown, wrapped and tied with ratty gold twine.

"Isharnai," Fjord says again, his voice calm and diplomatic despite Jester's fear. "We've done much to seek an audience with you. We hope we might be able to converse peacefully."

"It is rare to have so many visitors," she snarls, taking a step backwards away from Jester, "let alone all at once, at my home. You come here, survive the trial of the trek, and I assume it's because you're driven by the need for strong answers, yes? What is it that drives you then? Come, come, we can talk, one at a time."

None of them want to separate or send anyone alone in with her, but the alternative is fighting, so they have no choice. She lumbers back into her house, something almost spider-like in her movements, and sits on a stool near a lantern inside, door slightly ajar.

"Well, two of you came here for a reason," Fjord says, glancing at Nott and then Beau. "And all of us can get our palms read. Would you prefer someone else go first?"

"Yes," says Beau. "Someone with lower stakes. I don't know what to expect."

So Fjord agrees to enter the house alone. The door closes behind him, and everyone waits outside, worried and nervous. About ten minutes pass, and the half-orc steps out of the hut.

"She's a deal-maker," he says to all of them. "She's attracted by misery. Not existing misery, she wants to create new misery to feed on." He glances at Nott, worried. "It seems we'll have to give something in order to have your curse lifted."

Immediately, Beau squares her shoulders and marches into the hut.

"Oh, come on!" protests Jester. "Caleb, as soon as she comes out, just fire bolt the hut!"

The door closes behind Beauregard. This time, the wait is even longer. When she emerges, Beau seems distant; sad, but closed off, unreachable.

"What did you say? What did you do? What happened?" Nott asks, as they all look at Beau worriedly.

"Go talk to her," Beau says shortly, turning away.

"What did you do?" Jester asks, trying to look Beau in the eyes.

"Nothing, yet," says Beau, but you all have the sense that she must have offered some kind of horrible deal to save Nott from her curse. Nott looks afraid, and she takes a sip from her flask, but she goes in the hut and closes the door behind her. She's also gone for about ten minutes, and when she comes out, her expression is a mix of guilt and anger.

"Not much happened in there," she says. "I want to kill her, but I feel like that's going to be super hard."

"I actually agree with you," Fjord says seriously, "Only because I can't imagine any of us would be able to give anything that wouldn't shift our lives or the lives of those around us without getting what we want."

"What did she tell you?" asks Beau, still somewhat hard and distant.

"She told me that she could help," Nott says.

"How?" asks Jester. "Why? What did you offer?"

"Things that don't really affect us," Nott says, softly. "Just other people."

"Other people?" Jester seems horrified. "You offered to torture other people?"

"I didn't offer to torture anyone," Nott says. "I just, I would make sure that none of us were harmed or sacrificed in any way."

"That's dark, Nott," Jester responds, upset. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, I mean," Nott begins, looking away from them, "there's a lot of evil people out there, these people who have been waging war against each other, and they're not innocent. They've been doing this to each other now for years, and they could've stopped at any time."

"And you singled out specific people?" asks Caleb, oddly gentle.

"What did you offer?" says Beau, a little more accusatory.

"I didn't," Nott says, "I mean, I didn't make any deals. I just said that. . ."

"I already had a conversation with her," Beau snaps. "I just know whatever she wants, it's got to be substantial. So what did you offer?"

Nott stammers a little under Beau's interrogation. "To, to, to maybe, maybe tether her to one of the souls of, you know, Emperor Dwendal, maybe. We'd just have to make him swallow a potion. We can do it, we can do a lot of things."

"Like kill this lady?" Jester points out.

"Dwendal is surrounded by hundreds of loyal subjects," Caleb says, wearily.

"Plus, it's most certainly not as cut-and-dry as that," says Fjord. "There's always ripples."

"Exactly," says Beau.

Yasha looks between Beau and Nott, worried. "Wait, so she wants a sacrifice? I don't understand."

Fjord sighs. "She said she wanted the scales to be even, so for the gesture, for lifting the curse from Nott, whatever the exchange is has to be equally monumental, devastating, with misery attached to it."

The tall, pink-haired firbolg Caduceus watches Nott carefully. "What did it cost to turn you into a goblin in the first place?"

"It was a favor to the clan," Nott says. "I offered to kill the goblins, and she said that wouldn't be enough. What did you offer, Beau?"

"She wants new misery, right?" Beau says, cryptically.

"What if I just go in and, like, offered to, like, cut off my hand or something?" Jester says. "You think that's enough?"

"No," says Caduceus softly.

"But I really like my hand," protests Jester.

"Both," says Caduceus sadly, "And probably several other people's."

"You have to no longer be able to paint," Caleb says, the shape of this ugly thing she wants starting to become clear to him. One of them, no matter how this ends, will leave here suffering badly, unless they agree to Nott's plan of causing greater suffering in the world to protect themselves. Or, perhaps, then, they kill her.

"What did you offer, Beau?" Nott says, suspiciously. "I offered war."

Beau is quiet for a long moment, and then, in an uncharacteristically grief-filled voice, says "I think TJ, my little brother, and Luc could be best friends."

The rest of them look at one another.

"Did you offer to kill them?" Jester whispers.

Beau laughs humorlessly. "No."

"What do you mean?" Nott asks, more gently now.

"I'm going to be a loner," Beau says, feigning casualness, looking back at Nott. "I'm used to it. I'm comfortable there. The things we've done together, I'm never going to top that. And you're right. We have to fix you, because you have a son. You have Luc to raise. And all of us are eventually going to find our own way. It's not going to last forever. And, you know, maybe, maybe this was what it was all leading to, Molly's lessons, that you taught me, and this weird connection between me and you and this fucking hag and- "

"What are you talking about?" Jester sounds like she's starting to panic. "Are you saying you're going to kill yourself? Are you saying, what are you saying?"

"No, no," Beau says.

"She's saying she'll leave all this," Yasha responds, anger in her voice.

"You're going to leave us?" Jester asks sadly.

"Y'all are the greatest family I could ever ask for," Beau says, beginning to choke up a little. "I can't, I can't top this, you know."

"Then don't offer that, don't offer that at all!" Jester exclaims.

"She's right," Nott says to Beau. "I mean - "

Yasha turns and walks in the door, furious, and it closes behind her. But she isn't gone for very long. After a moment, they can all hear the hag's creepy laughter echoing from the house. Yasha storms out.

"Well, we're probably killing her," Yasha says. "But she's all yours, whoever wants to go in there."

Caleb looks around at the group; he can see the wheels turning in some of their heads. He can tell Caduceus wants to go in; Caduceus has his own form of cleverness, maybe he can do something about this. He wants to go in as well. He wants to put a stop to this. This woman has harmed Nott, his best friend, in ways he cannot comprehend, twisted and ruined her. He'd burn her for that alone, but now - they cannot lose Beauregard to this woman. However, he knows if he goes in there what will happen. His misery runs deep already. There's nothing he has left to lose that he could stand to lose. She will probably offer him deals of his own, and there will be no way to respond except fire. So someone else first, maybe. Caduceus, or -

Jester, jaw set hard and tears still in her eyes, walks into the hut and closes the door behind her. Everyone is a little surprised and very worried. Kind, bubbly Jester may not understand the danger she's dealing with. Caleb knows Jester isn't a stranger to pain, as much as she hides it, but she is also sweet and cheerful, and he suspects the hag will view her potential suffering as a delicious meal. A hand won't be enough, but Jester would do anything for her friends, and always acts as though she thinks she can charm her way out of any situation.

They wait outside, but as the conversation draws long, they cannot help the desire to try to knock, to try to interrupt whatever is happening inside before Jester gets in over her head.

And then the door opens and Jester walks out, with the hag right behind her, smiling some type of creepy crooked grin.

"Oh my gosh, this has been so fun," Jester says in the doorway. "Thank you so much. It means a lot."

"Well, you caught me in a good mood," the hag says. "If you ever come by any more of those cupcakes. . . "

"Of course, I'll send them your way!" Jester says. "Well, it's getting dark, it's a long journey back, so we'd better head out. But thank you so much. See you later!"

"See you sometime!" says the hag, closing her door.

As soon as the door is closed, Jester turns on everyone else, still smiling, but a little manic and strained. "Um." She looks at Nott. "You're okay, you're good. But we've got to go. Come on, let's go, let's get the fuck out of here."

"I have to get the potion," Nott starts, confused.

"No, no," says Jester, eyes darting back to the hut. "Your curse is broken, a deal has been made. Everything is fine!"

"What did you give her?" Nott asks, eyes narrowing. They look at Jester's hands, they're still there.

"I gave her something very precious," Jester says, but it's a little unconvincing. As they all stare at her, she adds, "she turned out to be a very nice lady?"

"Jester," Fjord says, seriously. "Are you sure?"

"Everything's fine," Jester says, with a deep, nervous sigh. "I am so serious. I'll explain everything later. But we need to go."

"Let's walk, then," Fjord says.

They begin to head into the swamp. It's night, so the swamp and the surrounding woods are especially dangerous, but Jester insists they can't stop, they need to get farther away.

"What did you give her, Jester," Fjord asks, growing worried.

"I gave her a cupcake," says Jester. "My last cupcake."

They all stare at her, but she won't say more. They start to argue about whether Nott's curse is really broken, if they shouldn't go back and try to make sure, but Jester starts to get upset they won't believe her. All she'll say is that it was a blueberry cupcake, and she sprinkled her magic dust on it - Dust of Deliciousness, a special dust that makes food taste extra delicious.

Eventually, they come upon a place where Caleb might be able to set up their magic tent for the night. Yasha helps clear the area, removing a tree, but the noise seems to draw some of the undead who live in the swamp. They have to fight off some hordes of zombies for a while, growing more and more frustrated and exhausted - the zombies aren't too difficult for them, but there are so many. Finally, between Jester and Caduceus' holy magic, they manage to drive enough zombies away that Caleb can set up the tent.

Inside, they all finally take a deep breath. Beau still looks a little bit shell shocked, as does Nott. There are still undead roaming outside, but they can't reach them inside the tent. The ground is swampy and muddy, and it's uncomfortable, but safe.

"Not that this isn't the most comfortable place we've ever been in," Fjord says, "but now that we're in here, Jester, do you mind telling us what actually happened?"

"Oh, yes," says Nott. "What the fuck happened in there?"

"Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay," Jester says to herself, nervous. And she looks out of the tent, into the mist, like she's checking nothing is coming after her. "Well, okay, so, do you remember when I told you guys that I could maybe do some, like, spells that would maybe affect people's memories and stuff?"

"Ja," says Caleb softly. Jester brought it up so casually, even though he knows exactly how powerful that spell can be, what it can do to someone's mind.

"Anyway," Jester continues. "Yes, so I- I sort of altered her memory, just a little, to where she was like, 'Oh my gosh, Jester!' I made her think that she, like, really liked me and that we had a really amazing time hanging out, like, we braided each other's hair and, you know, she just took an immediate liking to me, maybe she saw a little bit of herself in me? And so, and then she was like, 'Oh my gosh, I just like you so much. What can I do to make you happy?' And I was like, 'oh, undo Nott's curse, help her change back!'"

The all stare at her a little. "And it just worked?" Nott asks.

"Well," Jester says softly, "I had fed her that cupcake, with the dust. And the dust makes it easier to do spells like that on someone."

"Did she realize what you had done?" Nott asks.

"No," Jester says cautiously, "but she did seem a little confused at the end. And you know what? I don't know if that's normal because I've never done this before, but just in case, possibly, that it's not normal, I just thought maybe it would be smart to leave. But, you know, if it did work and if does stick, then, you know, I have a really cool, powerful good friend who likes cupcakes a lot!
I'm going to send her some, for sure."

"Seems only fair," Nott says, stunned.

"That's very resourceful, Jester," Fjord says, equally stunned.

"Wow," says Caduceus.

"Amazing!" says Nott.

"You seem a little nervous now," says Caleb

"Well yeah, because what if she comes after us?" Jester says. "And she would have been real pissed if it didn't work. . . "

"We would have thrown down," Fjord says, simply.

"It would've turned into a fight," agrees Jester. "Who knows, she might've killed me."

Caleb sighs, a little worried, but also thankful. "Anyway, thank you for getting the job done."

Beau is still quiet. They ask her about her family; Beau's father is also indebted to the hag, and they wonder whether she will punish them somehow for what Jester did, or exact some sort of price.

"Don't worry about me or mine," Beau says simply. They wonder for a moment what the price is, the mysterious thing that's owed to the hag still by her father for his riches. "I thought maybe I was the price," Beau admits.

"I'm glad you're not," Jester says. "Because you're still here."

"Maybe the price was his fear?" wonders Caduceus.

"Ooh, that's deep!" says Jester. "Like what if he made his entire life so miserable because he was seeking this rich goal that he ended up making himself miserable and Beau miserable and all these people around him miserable and that's what she was feeding off of, that's the price that he paid? He didn't get to live a happy life with his wife; he lived a very sad-- sad life."

"And he drove his daughter away," Caduceus agrees. "And he'll do the same to his son."

"Maybe," Beau says. "Maybe the price has been paid."

"What's done is done," says Caleb softly. "You can't turn back time."

"How do you feel?" Jester asks Nott. "Do you feel like someone is still siphoning away your life force? Do you feel happier?"

"Happier?" Nott just seems uncertain.

"There's a maximum level of happiness possible when you're ankle-deep in swamp," Caduceus says gently. "I think this is lowering the baseline at the moment."

"Honestly, I feel guilty right now," Nott admits. "Because we all went in there, well I don't know." She looks at Beau. "I mean, you said that you had offered to go away from us and live a life of solitude in order to take this curse off of me. I mean, that was very brave of you - "

"And very not okay," Jester says sternly, also looking at Beau.

"I mean, it was amazing," Nott says.

"No, I don't think it was," Fjord says.

Caduceus nods at Jester and Fjord. "I disagree with that entirely."

"What are you talking about?" Nott exclaims. "It was a sacrifice for her friend."

"It would have been a sacrifice for her and for everyone else." She frowns at Beau, pouting a little. "Beau, you wouldn't just have just been making yourself miserable. We would've been so sad."

"We would have been so miserable," Fjord agrees.

"We would have lost a friend in the end," Yasha says softly.

"I think the hag pushed us to a lot of ultimate decisions," says Fjord. "Beau was ready to move away from everything, you were ready to entertain war between nations."

"I know, that's what I'm saying!" Nott exclaims, before being shushed. "That. . . I was a coward."

Nott's loud voice draws more zombies towards them; Beau throws some ball bearings out of the tent to distract them. Everyone is quiet for a long moment, and then Caleb suddenly puts his hand on Beau's shoulder.

"Don't go," he says, looking at her seriously.

She looks back at him, and then her eyes slide away from him. "I mean, this isn't going to last forever - "

"Follow your own advice," he says in a pained whisper. "Don't go."

"I know you think you're done, I understand," Caduceus tells her. "But you're not done yet."

"How do you know?" asks Beau.

"I know," says Caduceus.

"That's not an answer," says Beau, frustrated.

"All right, I'll answer it," Fjord says, turning on Beau with his most severe big brother voice. "You're young, you're full of life, you hook up with anything that moves. You haven't even begun to live your life. I'm this much older than you and you're ready to quit and move on from everything that's good in your world?"

"There's a greatness in you that you've maybe known three months," Caduceus says. "This is just the beginning."

"To think that you've peaked is insane," Fjord agrees.

"Well, what are you going to do? What are your goals?" asks Beau, a little defensive.

"To stay with my friends," Fjord answers easily. "To see what happens, to watch over you. You've watched over me as I've explored my past. The least I can do is return the favor. I'm invested now, I want to see peace between these nations, I want to see what this green-cloaked figure is that Jester keeps talking to, I want to see Nott get back what she wants. . . "

"We owe it to each other," agrees Caduceus.

"Yeah," says Fjord. "Nott doesn't seem to care about me, but I care about her, it's okay."

A little petulantly, Nott says, "I care about you, Fjord."

Fjord grins a big smug grin at her. "Tell me again."

They all laugh a little, and Nott smiles. "I care about you, Fjord. I care about all of you. You all would've sacrificed so much for me. You did, you risked your life in there." She looks at Jester, fondly. "She could've seen through your little spell and taken off your cute little head."

"We would have come running in at the first yelp," Beau says.

"We're not done until we've saved each other," says Caduceus.

"And why would we have come running in at the first yelp?" Fjord says to Beau, grabbing her arm, in a tone like a teacher instructing a student to solve a problem.

"Because we care about each other," Beau grumbles.

"Oh, fucking shit, we do?" Fjord says, feigning shock. "Amazing, does that apply to you as well?"

Beau sinks, embarrassed, and mumbles petulantly, "I don't know."

"Oh, I think it does," says Fjord. "Don't do that again. Don't you care what happens to Nott?"

"Don't do that again," Caleb agrees, soft but fierce.

"I guess," mumbles Beau, staring at the ground.

"Jester?" asks Fjord. Beau shrugs and mutters agreement. "Yasha? This one - " gesturing at Caleb. "And most of all - " gesturing at himself.

"Bleh," says Beau.

"I love you guys," Caduceus says with a dopey smile.

"We did really good," Fjord says thoughtfully. "That was crazy, you should've seen her up there on the roof. Bitch had four elbows. It's not normal. I saw it, like, literally, I had to do a poop check."

"Anyway, we just got this one back," Caleb says quietly, gesturing at Yasha. "We don't need to lose one. Nobody goes."

"Okay," Beau says with a sigh. "Okay."

They all change topics, talk hypothetically about kidnapping Beau's little brother to save him from life with her shitty dad, talk about Nott and her family, her fears she hasn't been a good mother to Luc being gone from his life for so long. Caduceus talks about how his parents often traveled, his family is often apart, but they still know they love one another and that's what matters, and Jester agrees that Nott's son knows he loves her. They all talk a little longer about family, about whether Nott will go back to her family for good and stay with them or keep traveling with the Nein, about Beau and her father. And then after awhile, they all agree to try to meditate and end up falling asleep, with just Caleb and Jester left awake.

"Hey, Caleb?" Jester says quietly, as they all get ready for sleep.

Caleb looks up and glances at her.

"I mean," she looks a little nervous. "I just want you to know that I would never use anything to modify a memory on you or Yasha or anyone that. . . that we know." Caleb is a little startled, like this came out of nowhere, unaware that Jester had been worrying how he or Yasha, the two who had been subjected to this spell maliciously in the past, would react. "You know, I know what it means."

"Well. . . " he trails off after a moment. "It's a tricky thing and it's all about what you do with it, really. And you did a good thing." He glances at the sleeping Nott. "You made her happier."

"Yeah, I think so," Jester says, a little worried.

Caleb smiles just a little, crooked. "And it sounds like you made your new friend happier as well."

Jester laughs. "Yeah. Okay. I just wanted to make sure."

"Good night, Jester," Caleb says, warm, as he curls up to fall asleep.

"Good night, Caleb," she says, and they both drift off.