[ He gets almost the same Caiman as everyone else who has visited jail has -- which is, him sitting there silently at the detention desk. Otome was kind enough to patch him up so his scratched up and bruised face is bandaged, but otherwise, he still looks just as much of a mess as he did at the end of trial, blood over his front from the meltdown and the like.
He's just. Staring into nothing. Despondent. Catatonic. ]
I wish I understood it, Caiman. I wish a little that you were a more nefarious person in general, so I could hate you unreservedly. But the fucked up thing is I believed you when you said that and I still do.
We really getting into a worse-off? [ He can't even spare the energy to sound joking. Just tired and somber. ] It's not like I have a stellar record as I am... as 'Caiman', either.
Maybe I should've decided to go with his [ Molly's ] philosophy and just forget about trying to find out who I was.
[No answer to that. Not really; he's never scooped someone's brains out of their head. But he also doesn't like these conversations to happen under some polite fiction where one side is guilty and one is innocent.]
It's surprisingly wise. [. . .] I know you've been a killer as Caiman, too. But. . . you aren't alone in wanting to murder the type who abuses their magic. Maybe you went a little far. But I liked you, still. Better to just stay that Caiman and try to do better than opening something ugly, ja?
Yeah, but I just knifed them. I never did, I've never even thought about doing. [ YOU KNOW. ]
I'm only afraid if I, if it ends up happening again. Not remembering anything, killing someone who's a friend of mine. 'Cause I didn't choose it this time so why would I get to choose the next?
[ He's been thinking about execution, and how the last couple of ones have been. ] What if, whoever I gotta go up against, it happens?
...Guess if it's someone like you or Beau, it'd make it easier.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 3; saturday
no subject
He's just. Staring into nothing. Despondent. Catatonic. ]
no subject
[He whispers a little, peering at him like he's looking for any sign of life.]
Caiman, can you hear me?
no subject
...Caleb...
[ Where can he even start? ]
no subject
Ah. You seem a little more lucid than you were at the end of trial.
no subject
[ He just keeps looking down, though. ]
...Didn't expect you to be one of them.
no subject
[Taking a sip of his cocoa.]
. . . I didn't know what version of you I would get. One who remembered doing it or one who didn't.
no subject
[ He looks down at his hands, slowly turning over. After all of that, it's not so hard to imagine it. The knife in his hands. They have a tremor. ]
...I'm sorry, Caleb.
no subject
What you said to me at trial. That you wouldn't have wanted to hurt him, if you had say over it. You meant that when you said it, right?
no subject
I don't -- I still don't know why. I did mean it, he was... we had a lot in common.
no subject
[He sighs a deep breath out.]
I wish I understood it, Caiman. I wish a little that you were a more nefarious person in general, so I could hate you unreservedly. But the fucked up thing is I believed you when you said that and I still do.
no subject
I don't understand it right, either, but when Beau punched me, I -- I felt something. Something horrible inside of me...
And that -- I think that, did it.
no subject
Maybe you were more similar than you knew.
no subject
The... [ He gestures a little wildly, miniscule, hapless. ] 'Somnovem', guy, he looked like Molly, but.
[ Yeah guess who got THAT mem thanks Alli. ]
no subject
[Hmm.]
And I know that he isn't. . . he isn't Mollymauk. Even if they share the same body, maybe the same soul.
no subject
[ Ah, but he looks down again. ]
Right. Would be easier if you didn't have to think of it that way.
no subject
[He sits back in his chair, fiddling with the sleeve of his coat.]
It's possible the person you have inside you is a worse guy even than I am. If that's true, I am sorry for you, Caiman.
no subject
Maybe I should've decided to go with his [ Molly's ] philosophy and just forget about trying to find out who I was.
no subject
It's surprisingly wise. [. . .] I know you've been a killer as Caiman, too. But. . . you aren't alone in wanting to murder the type who abuses their magic. Maybe you went a little far. But I liked you, still. Better to just stay that Caiman and try to do better than opening something ugly, ja?
no subject
I'm only afraid if I, if it ends up happening again. Not remembering anything, killing someone who's a friend of mine. 'Cause I didn't choose it this time so why would I get to choose the next?
[ He's been thinking about execution, and how the last couple of ones have been. ] What if, whoever I gotta go up against, it happens?
...Guess if it's someone like you or Beau, it'd make it easier.
no subject
[Worried about one of the girls who were crying over him having to face him.]
no subject
... [ Keeps looking away. ] Now that I know it's happened once, I'll try to keep an eye out for if it might get me again.
no subject
[Maybe that would be better. But.]
Who's to say an execution won't happen anyway.
no subject
I've had incidents of me coming back to life before. Least with something like an 'execution', maybe it'll for real...
[ But he scrunches his nose. ]
...For Byleth, right?
[ He finally glances up at Caleb. The crossmarks over his eyes are gone. ]
no subject
[He sounds uncertain.]
I only mean. . . if I killed you now, two people might be thrown in there anyway. So that's no solution.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)