[Well. He did say he would talk to her later, so he's coming down to the detention room. His mood is just quiet, still, like he's shut some of him off, but he does feel sad for her.
[hers is definitely a flatline of. . . nothing at all, like she's emotionally exhausted herself and has no more RAM for feeling things]
[but there is a peek of surprise, of bemusement, when he speaks to her, and she flicks her ears as she turns to face him. she's seated in a corner of the classroom, tucked away from the main door]
. . .
. . . sure?
[she isn't sending him away but she is giving him a look of like, "but why would you want to?"]
[Ah, Catra. He does feel sad for her, although he tries to clamp that emotion down. Whatever she did, it doesn't make her deserving of grieving two different loves.]
. . . I didn't know if you would want to finish that conversation. About Byleth. [But after a moment.] It's alright if not. After everything else. . .
[He will sit down in a chair, then. Think about what to say for a long, awkward moment.]
. . . I didn't mean to imply I knew more than anyone. I never got much. The fact that they only killed adults made me think they were being forced, trying to find acceptable targets.
But what I believed about Byleth was that she was present at Bradley's death to protect Rupert from what he was being forced to do, and she was present at Crow's death to protect someone else young and vulnerable.
[so she took matters into her own hands. for her sake, for the sake of everyone here, for Byleth's sake. . . at least, that's what she tells herself, in order to stave off the guilt of having killed someone she liked]
[There's a sense of approval from him - not running. He doesn't seem judgmental or to want her to be punished, just that.]
I did mean what I said - I think it is possible to care for Byleth but also not feel you deserve what you have been through. Motives are important - mercy, trying to save who you can - they aren't bad ones. Whatever else.
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week 4; saturday
He brought his cat, too.]
Hello. Accepting visitors?
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[but there is a peek of surprise, of bemusement, when he speaks to her, and she flicks her ears as she turns to face him. she's seated in a corner of the classroom, tucked away from the main door]
. . .
. . . sure?
[she isn't sending him away but she is giving him a look of like, "but why would you want to?"]
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. . . I didn't know if you would want to finish that conversation. About Byleth. [But after a moment.] It's alright if not. After everything else. . .
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[. . .]
No, I-- I want to know.
[whether she deserves to know or not]
Especially now.
[especially after what happened with Adora]
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. . . I didn't mean to imply I knew more than anyone. I never got much. The fact that they only killed adults made me think they were being forced, trying to find acceptable targets.
But what I believed about Byleth was that she was present at Bradley's death to protect Rupert from what he was being forced to do, and she was present at Crow's death to protect someone else young and vulnerable.
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She's-- that kind of person.
I'd believe that of her.
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[. . . ]
What made you decide to go after her?
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[. . .]
[she looks away, hand drifting to her upper arm. the same one she clutched during trial that no one asked about]
. . . it wasn't fair, was it? For her to be forced into hurting people when she didn't really want to.
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I can understand that thinking.
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She couldn't promise me she wouldn't do it again.
. . . so.
[so she took matters into her own hands. for her sake, for the sake of everyone here, for Byleth's sake. . . at least, that's what she tells herself, in order to stave off the guilt of having killed someone she liked]
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. . . You protested so much whenever anyone suggested this might have been the reason someone killed her.
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[and sometimes you are filled with self-loathing and act out in order to incur punishment because you think you deserve it!! it's fine, right??]
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[There is a lot of understanding there.]
. . . You tried to hurt Otome. So we would have no choice but to punish you?
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[she says nothing, but. . . he may get the feeling he is right on the money]
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[Yeah, he thought so.]
. . . Well, you got what you were seeking. But the worst punishments are always the ones we give ourselves.
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I'm not running away from my actions. From my-- choices. Not anymore.
[she breathes out]
So whatever happens tomorrow, it'll be what it'll be.
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[There's a sense of approval from him - not running. He doesn't seem judgmental or to want her to be punished, just that.]
I did mean what I said - I think it is possible to care for Byleth but also not feel you deserve what you have been through. Motives are important - mercy, trying to save who you can - they aren't bad ones. Whatever else.