katzepaw | lucretia

[Let's say they run into one another after the message-a-thon, maybe in the cafeteria.]

. . . So. What did you make of all of that?

Nothing good.

[the cafeteria definitely works; she's here getting food, but still holds some of the air of tension that's been there for- well, most of the time she's been here.]

If they're telling the truth about the differences in time passing, then that's-- something, but we don't know how much their information can be trusted yet.

[. . .]

You know, I noticed you carrying that staff. Is it for walking, or is it a focus?

[You a wizard or what, girl?]

A focus- your take on magic sounds much more like what I'm used to, actually.

[thank god someone in that thread knew wizard shit.]

[Thank fuck.]

I had a slight suspicion. So then - to your knowledge, stopping time the way they're describing. Is it possible?

[she's quiet for a few moments, there.]

To my knowledge, no. Not under most circumstances.

I've seen a demi-plane where time moves differently than the prime material plane. In that case, uhm, an hour in there would be a day outside it, but perhaps the reverse could be done as well. Time not stopped in our homes, but simply moving extremely slowly in comparison to the progression here?

[. . .]

Or maybe it's something entirely outside my experience. I'm no expert.

That might be a possibility, but I am nearly one hundred percent sure this isn't any plane attached to my own world. Whatever is at work to do this-- it must exist in a completely separate... world, or reality, or however you want to think of it, and it must be uncomfortably powerful.

[she grips her staff a little tighter.]

I've seen-- one thing, that could possibly control the flow of time like that, but I also know no one should have it in their possession.

[He responds with a nod of agreement, a little bit of curiosity mixed with concern.]

Sounds pretty dangerous. Which makes me think we are dealing with some very dangerous people.

People who use dangerous methods, at the very least. If they're using that kind of power just to establish this school and bring people here, it seems... decent enough, on the surface.

But the wording in that acceptance letter is another thing entirely, and to be working with that level of power... it's one hell of a thing to pull off.

I'm a little worried what they want with us, let alone all of the children they have brought here.

Some of them seem far more used to this than they should be, but the others...

It's difficult not to worry.

There are a large number of mages, too. I don't think it's coincidental, exactly.

Then you believe they wanted us, specifically.

In that case, it also might not be a coincidence that many of us have more important things to be doing.

I certainly do. It will be a relief if time is stopped, even if it's a somewhat terrifying notion.

It's-- well, it's the only option there is. If anything they're telling us is true, it needs to be that.

Ja. [Oof. He sighs out, stressed.] Ja. Here's hoping.

I suppose we won't know until we manage to get back, so for now... the best we can do is to focus our efforts there.

[like it or not, they're just going to have to wait and see on that one.]

That's the best plan, I think. But I find myself at a little bit of a loss for what to do.

There's only so much we can do. Searching the place hasn't turned anything up, no one else has any leads... we'll just have to keep an eye out and see if anything changes. Surely something has to happen.

Perhaps all we can do is wait it out.

Ah. . . I am Caleb Widogast, by the way. I dabble in the arcane, a little.

Not ideal, but we're-- we're working with what we have.

[she's never really stopped gripping her staff-- though a bit of the serious edge comes off her expression when he introduces himself.

in general, she's used her title instead of her name here, but you know, they've already gotten into wizard shit and- so far he's the only one who seems to be familiar with the same sort of practices. there's a sort of familiarity there she might be able to work with.]

My name is Lucretia, though- I'd prefer you not make it public.

Edited 2021-06-08 00:30 (UTC)

I'm happy to keep anything we discuss between us.

[It makes him curious, a little, about her reasons, but boy does he know what it's like to be cagey and need to hide. So he's interested and curious in what she knows and what she can do, but he doesn't plan to ask too many questions.]

I'll do the same, if that's how you'd prefer to do things.

[he gets a little nod, there.]

Everyone else I've met here knows me as the Director. I'd say I do a little more than just-- dabbling in the arcane, though without my abilities, there's... a somewhat more restricted list of ways I can actually help.

[not that she intends to let that be much of a setback. she can't use magic, but it's not where all of her skills lie; she'll manage. she's managed worse.]

Restricted, but I'm sure you still have some. A knack for learning and research will always come in handy.

Oh, I'm not going to let it stop me from doing anything.

[hopefully, they won't need magic to get the hell out of here.]

It might be a... fairly new sort of experience, but I do think we'll manage. One way or another.

[Let's say they run into one another out and about? He's on his way somewhere else, but he'll stop to talk to her.]

. . . Hello.

-hello, Caleb.

[she was also on her way somewhere, but she pauses as well; she has a fairly tight grip on her staff.]

I'd like to say that could have been worse, but it really doesn't feel as if that accomplished much, did it.

It could have been worse, but it accomplished nothing, in the end.

And considering how things have gone so far, I'll be surprised if we actually confirm what comes of it.

[it seems in keeping with the trend of 'no, we don't know why you're here, everything is fine, oh oops a murder happened' for them to just be told 'yes, she's definitely at the conduct office and everything is completely fine, no you can't see for yourself'.]

. . . I think there's a good chance this keeps happening.

The rules were altered to account for it. I doubt that's necessary for just-- an isolated incident.

And it isn't as though she could have locked us away in our dorms on her own.

No, she couldn't. This raised more questions than it gave us answers.

So, what do you think?

[He pauses, frowning.]

Worth killing a teenage girl to get a few days of reprieve and no answers?

If we at least knew why this happened, then- I don't know if I can say that it would be worth it, but it would have been something.

I'm going to see if I can talk her into sharing a few answers, but I don't have high hopes. She wasn't very taken with me at trial.

[He can be found sitting outside, likely reading a book.]

[she's probably on her way somewhere when she comes across him, but-- heading back to the dorm can wait.]

-I suppose you were right, about what would happen.

[her expectation was more along the lines of kaoruko just- disappearing, not the spectacle they got instead.]

Was I? I don't remember predicting that.

I don't think any of us could have predicted-- whatever the hell that was.

[absolutely fucked up.]

More in the sense that it would mean her death.

[it seemed likely, yes, but until it happened there was still some chance that wouldn't be it.]

Ah. That. Unhappy to be right.

[Ugh. It was gross, too.]

Did you speak with her at all?

I knew more than one person who would, and it seemed... best not to trouble her too much. We'd never spoken before.

It was an odd conversation. A lot of lies and half truths, but the gist of it was that there's more going on here than meets the eye.

So I heard. We weren't quite sure if it was that she refused to answer more directly or if she just-- couldn't, but either way...

[it's troubling.]

[gestures at the shitpost for this catchall. anyway.

lucretia is, unsurprisingly, still in the library! she is just out here among the shelves, browsing through them. if you want the true library cliche then maybe they reach for the same shelf at the same time.]

Oh- go ahead. I think I might have actually grabbed that one yesterday, come to think of it.

[though with them both right here-- there is definitely a strong Urge there, but she's putting effort into shoving it aside for the moment. what the hell is it there for and will it go away if she ignores it.

famous last words when it comes to mg effects! but the effort will at least be made, at first.]

Ah - did you enjoy it? I read a little bit of it; fascinating stuff.

[This is wizard foreplay, he knows this, but he cannot explain why that makes him want to bite her. He suddenly becomes very nervous, pulling his hand away from the book, as his brain processes this utter what the fuck impulse that just entered into his brain.

He resists it for a long second, but it's not going anywhere, so he just suddenly bursts out - ]

I apologize in advance I do not know why this is happening?

['wizard foreplay' took me the fuck out, help.

he pulls his hand away and that makes the impulse kick in harder, an urge to close the distance and whaaaat the actual Fuck. she almost looks relieved at the outburst, if she weren't also busy being disturbed.]

Oh, god, you too-- what is this? Is the library cursed? We were fine just yesterday, I-

-Listen, if you have a preference here, I'm going to need you to be pretty quick about saying so.

[at least maybe they can make this marginally less weird. marginally.]

[A preference for what??? He doesn't realize? She also wants to bite him? It takes him a second but. He's just going to grab her hand and bite down and then just make a face like kill him now? Why is this happening?]

Okay, sure, that works-

[she doesn't let him pull his hand back immediately, because she does the same thing in return? then also makes a face, letting go.]

Why is this happening.

[Embarrassed. Stepping back a few feet from her, red.]

Uhm. I'm not sure. Some sort of curse?

It must be, but what I don't understand is why now. It can't be that the book was always cursed, I had it just yesterday and it was-- it was fine.

[who cursed either this thing or the library since then, she will have Words.]

I haven't encountered this one yet, but there are strange things happening to various individuals, so perhaps. . .

Strange things such as...? No one I've spoken to so far seems to have had any problems this week.

Ah - the tattoos, people having to do unusual stuff for extra credits - though in this case, that isn't the case.

I was worried that we had even more problems, for a second there.

[right, the tattoos. she adjusts both sleeve hems briefly at the mention of them, making sure they didn't slip while she was distracted with this bite business.]

But no, I fully believe you. It wouldn't have affected both of us if that were it.

[he is definitely not just out here being weird.]

Morgen.

Have you noticed anything odd? Besides our pattern of dead bodies.

Nothing any stranger than usual, no. Was there anything out of the ordinary to you?

For today, that is. I think yesterday's events go without saying.

Nothing unusual for me, no.

If I hear of anything, I'll let you know.

Have you spoken with anyone who returned yesterday, by the way?

Bradley and Sieghart. I learned a little of what they experienced. But I have also heard there are applications floating around? I've only seen what Beauregard and Mollymauk showed me.

I haven't heard anything from Bradley's group, but Sieghart's was

What they experienced was highly troubling, from what I know of it.

I was shown one of those as well, but I haven't seen the second from their group.

Which did you see? I have seen Viola and Chad's.

Chad's. Sieghart mentioned Viola's, but apparently didn't look at it himself.

Those are the two I've seen as well, though supposedly there are others out there.

Pictures on the phone make this a little obsolete, I think, but my memory is very exact. If we find anything written down, I'd like to see it, because I will retain it letter for letter even if the original copy is lost.

[Well, after trial he's around, probably on his way walking to somewhere else. A little tense and cold, but he can be stopped and talked to.]

Caleb.

[the tension is-- definitely mutual. even if manwol had volunteered herself like that, it's nothing that they can just be satisfied with, not when she did nothing. even if she had, this would sit poorly.]

...I suppose it gets worse before it gets any better, then.

That's the one thing I didn't want. For it to start to devolve into volunteers. We will kill all of the good hearted people and leave only the selfish ones and the killers behind.

I'd hoped enough of us would reject the idea and not just-- take the option that she offered, but... with the way that list looked, it didn't need to be many.

It was obvious it wasn't her. But then you have someone like Lalli using criteria that conveniently leaves him out, but leaves the only "adults" who "geese do not like" as Manwol and Beauregard. And people looking for a lifeline to follow a decision other than their own will jump on that.

[she just- exhales a heavy breath, reaching up to rub at her face.]

By that point, I think people were desperate for something to latch onto. Anything. Given something to pursue, it was easy to chase it to any conclusion that could narrow the field, and then given that option by someone who was part of the narrowed list...

It was easier to use that rationale to choose her than it might have been, otherwise.

I agree, but I think it sets an ugly pattern for us.

It does. We're going to have to make sure it doesn't remain one next week, or it will become that much harder to break afterwards.

. . . What do you think? About suspects? Any ideas?

Byleth was my vote. I considered Denji as well, though.

[after a moment:]

There were a few things Lila said that felt... off, but-- I couldn't.

[Oh, finally, some good food.]

I still think Mollymauk was essentially correct about the hint. The people who could have qualified as the adult or mentor in a pair - Lalli, Beauregard, Sagihara, Manwol, Otome, Byleth, and Ichinose. I think; this is perhaps equally as arbitrary as Lalli's age cutoffs, but I'm going based more on personality than age. Adora and Rupert are adults by certain metrics, but I wouldn't consider a pairing between them and any of the children on the list comparable to a mother and baby. Rupert is fairly soft and Adora is fairly naive.

We can rule out Manwol for obvious reasons. I know Beauregard well enough to feel confident ruling her out. Lalli strikes me as overly cautious and not prone to working with an accomplice. So that leaves Sagihara, Otome, Byleth, and Ichinose that I would consider.

If Lila was involved, her accomplice was Sagihara, Lalli, or Beauregard. The others were in the same group as her. Sagihara was injured, but I don't know that that would have stopped him, especially if he had an accomplice. Also, he claimed to only have had earned two vouchers in his entire time here, which strikes me as suspicious. But he probably did not vote for Kaoruko, so if he does not talk to his dorm head or do extra credit, I suppose that tracks.

If Otome, Ichinose, or Byleth were the adult figure in a pair, their partner would likely be Denji, Leo, or perhaps Kaine, but this again stretches the mother and baby goose metaphor for me. So. . . I wound up putting my vote for Denji, because he was the most likely fit to me for a variety of potential killers, and had those suspicious injuries. We do know something was treated in the health center. Between those three ladies, I could not tell you any reason to suspect one over another, except that I'm not sure I can picture Ichinose, ah, biting Lan Wanji's hand. Otome and Byleth are a little more. . . well, anyway. The use of a sword and the mentor metaphor fits Byleth better, the treatment in the health center Otome, save that she may have had her own supplies. And Ichinose's vouchers were accounted for; that thing she bought was pretty expensive, and she was uninjured completely.

However, I cannot shake that on Friday she started sharing her theories with me that the murderers were fulfilling their extra credit and that their goal was winning the Dorm Wars, except when I pointed out we know of no particular prize for winning besides the pocket dimension, she conceded the point. So I had my eye on her during trial, to some degree.

A large number of assumptions are made here, but. . . even so. I would have my eye on a pair of Sagihara and Lila, or Denji and one of those three women.

Sagihara wouldn't be stopped by an injury, no. I think he's proven that-- plenty of times, since he came back, and I don't believe any of us got a good look at his wounds before today. But he's... [she pauses, then exhales a sigh.] He doesn't trust easily. He's asked me how to decide who he can trust, before, we're-- working on that one, so he's similar to Lalli in that way. Friendlier, politer, but he wouldn't need an accomplice or necessarily trust them if he did. The voucher situation also more or less tracks for him, he admitted to me before today that he didn't quite take getting them seriously at first.

...he's also working with me to try to acquire something that could help save people, so I'd like to think he's not out here murdering on the side.

Otome I doubt would have visited the health center if she wanted to lie low, given her occupation, and I think you're right about having her own supplies. The biting is a part of why I suspected Byleth, honestly, Otome mentioned when we were trying to work out the reasoning behind it that Byleth had said she had the urge to bite more or less everyone. Denji, I think we're in agreement on, and Ichinose... she's always been a bit off, when we've spoken.

And then Lila... you saw the way she was reacting, near the end, and we all got a little worked up there but-- it was the way she reacted to Lalli. She immediately insisted that 'that's not right', but was much more hesitant in saying anything else.

Under the logic we're working with here, I know that would likely mean Sagihara too if she was involved, and I don't think that we can rule him out. But I also don't know that either of them would have had a reason to do this on their own.

Personally, I can't see Byleth or Otome as killing remorselessly. But we don't know the reasons the killers have, so I won't rule anyone out on the basis of personality alone.

But it isn't as though Sagihara knew he'd be injured, so. . . little reason for him to bring a child accomplice along.

I agree. There's just no real reason for it, and even if there was some meaning to what Lila said-- it's possible that she just knew something, or was protecting someone.

...Byleth and Denji had the same excuse for the marks on them, as well. She blamed the scuffing on her hands on using tree branches as makeshift weapons to teach swordsmanship with Nier, and Denji claimed his scratches and such were from cutting down trees. Nier's hands didn't match Byleth's, though he did say he largely used his actual weapon instead. It seemed they both had others who could back them up on what they said they'd done, but having proof of those things doesn't mean that's necessarily where the marks actually came from, either.

That's compelling; I hadn't noticed Byleth's scuffing.

It could have been nothing. In light of everything else, though, I don't think it should be ruled out completely.

[she pauses a moment, before:]

Even if it doesn't give us much more certainty-- I do think we might have enough of a narrowed field to work with, if we were to continue to look into this.

Agreed. Personally, my goal is merely to - narrow down suspects, find out their reasons.

Then we're in agreement on that. The most important thing is to learn why they've acted-- and if they still pose a threat after that, we can find some way to contain them.

[for ease of threading let's just say she already sent him a message earlier to meet her at her dorm; texts can't be deleted, and there are some conversations it just seems better to have off of the phone.

after she lets him in so they can go to her room, and gestures for him to sit down:]

I think you might want to continue keeping a close eye on Ichinose.

[While he's here he steals three more toilet seats.

No, okay. He'll come in and sit down. Raising an eyebrow at the comment.]

Ah. Why do you say so?

[please not the toilet seats she does not want to hold people back from murdering over it.]

I have a fairly good idea of why she shared the theory that she did with you. You might too, by now, I don't know how widespread this is at the moment, but-- the assignments absolutely include harming others. My newest one does, though not that badly.

I'm pretty sure she's had one and was willing to do it, because I think she did it with me.

Ah. Ja, I've seen someone who had an assignment to convince someone to vote for an innocent person, and another to frame someone for murder.

[Scratching at his wrist a little, watching her evenly.]

But that person I talked to doesn't intend to go through with it, lucky for us. What did she do?

To frame someone-- if they're trying to get people killed, she might just be right about the murder assignments.

[fuck. that's some worrying shit to hand to people, but the mention that they don't intend to go through with it puts her a little more at ease.]

...she burned both of us fairly badly, though. I don't know if that assignment would have required her to be hurt as well-- she's been claiming it was accidental, but I don't think that's the truth. There were things that just didn't line up about it.

Fire?

[Hmm. Yikes.]

Why don't you tell me how she went about it? She's my suitemate, I can keep an eye on her.

No, with water. [scalds...] She was boiling it, and claimed that she was just making... one of those small instant dishes, but was using a larger pot and much more water than necessary, and she was closely watching its temperature when I came in. She removed the thermometer immediately when I did, and then moved the pot to the edge of the stove.

[and, with a sigh:]

She seemed-- off, at the time, but it wasn't long after the trial, so I thought a little less of everything in the moment. I suppose the results of trying to intervene before anyone got hurt are pretty obvious.

There's also a matter of how far to take these things. If you are told to burn or scald someone, there would still be. . . ways? To minimize the damage versus how she went about this.

I had one to, uhm, feed someone spoiled food. It wasn't my favorite task, but no one was harmed aside from eating something with a bad taste.

There would, which makes me wonder just what that task would have been-- if it was to injure herself and another person, there are ways to minimize that, too.

[either way, it just doesn't feel all that accidental, despite what it was.]

I just received one to knock someone out without warning them.

Ah. That is quite difficult to do without hurting someone. Do you have any ideas to pull it off?

Not... yet. It's not as bad as it could be, but if this is only the third one, I have to question whether it's just going to keep escalating after, and just how much they're going to try to ease people into harming each other with the threat of no longer being able to complete these if they won't.

I'll consider alternative methods. The vibe check just isn't going to cut it for me.

[@ whoever sent her this: fuck your violence]

I will tell you that Beauregard or Mollymauk are probably not going to care if you do this to them and explain yourself later. I have seen Beauregard get in bar fights to unconsciousness for a little bit of fun.

In my case, I don't want to be physically knocked out, but something like scalding someone - I don't care if you do that without warning me. More vouchers, better for everyone.

Well, you know, so I wouldn't be doing it to you either way.

[not that she would have to begin with, but.]

I wouldn't care much about it if, as you said, it were mitigated at all. Fortunately I don't actually feel the worst of what she managed, but that degree of damage still isn't ideal. If these are going to be more commonplace, we need to keep an eye on how they're being handled and on people who may be willing to take them further.

Caleb? If you still need time to recover then please, take it first, but

I'd like to speak, whenever you're willing.

[There's a while before he responds, but.]

Sure, we can speak.

Do you prefer this, or should I come to you?

Let me know if there's anything you need, in the latter case.

Text may be easier, my throat is still giving me trouble.

Then this will be fine, for now. Everything's been seen to?

Yes. I got a healing potion. Mostly better, everything else patched up. A little scare, with my voice gone. Bad for my spell list.

There aren't many worse things to lose, are there, except for our hands.

I took your suggestion earlier, by the way. I'll make it up to him as soon as I have confirmation.

I think I saw a text about that. He may have minded a little. Blame me.

There are worse things to lose, but these are the things you take a little personally.

It feels somewhat pointed in those cases, doesn't it.

[there's a slight delay, here.]

I'm only going to ask you to talk about it if you feel up to it. Otherwise we'll discuss-- anything else, if you need your mind off of it for a while.

No, it's alright. Ask away.

I'm assuming this was a similar situation to the others, last week, but

Just what happened to all of you?

Similar to the others.

We wound up being teleported into something that was a little like Ichiro's memories. The same sort of circumstances, with illusionary versions of people here who attacked us, and illusionary versions of people we knew from home threatened, and they tried to push us to violence to save those people.

Well, at least the rest of us will be able to keep in mind that it's false, if this is becoming a pattern, but it's still an underhanded tactic to use.

I doubt these places would ever be satisfied to just let you avoid that violence altogether, though, from the looks of things.

I think the throughline in these has been in using illusions of people from here as well as people from home. In mine, I saw Beauregard. She was acting like herself until her eyes turned black and she would start to be cruel.

I can only assume they're trying to hurt people in more ways than just the physical. Sieghart had a theory that these were actually meant to help in some way, in that they got something out of it in the end, but that would be a pretty fucked up way to go about it.

I don't know about help, but I have wondered if the sinister versions of people here aren't meant to point to what is going on on a broader level. The Dorm Heads for example all seem to have had their memories altered; they may be using false names.

Maybe it is true of the killings as well?

It would explain why we're in the position we are, currently. Why it's been difficult to pinpoint anyone effectively enough even after the fact.

If that's the case, though, we're being used more than expected.

[Caleb is walking out and about on Friday in a uniform coat and fuzzy scarf. He's walking a little stiffy, but seems healed back from the state he was in when he got back.]

[it'll be later friday before she's out and around, but it looks like she's headed toward the cafeteria when she runs into him, a book tucked under one arm, her staff in the other.]

-Caleb. Are you all right?

[she definitely seems Stressed, still, but. of course she's stopping to check in.]

I'm alright.

[Nodding at her, appreciative but a little reserved.]

No more fussing over me, not after a day like today.

No, I don't suppose it's really the time, is it.

[she exhales a breath, shakes her head.]

You can come with me, if you want. I need something to focus on for a while.

Come with you? A little curiosity.] Where?

The kitchen.

[a little gesture to her book-- most of the cover is obscured by her arm, but it looks like some kind of cookbook.]

Well, you have me curious.

[He'll follow her? Teej, haha.]

One condition: if I severely fuck up this recipe, I'd appreciate if you kept it to yourself.

[stress baking is not always an ideal condition. also, the library enabled me, what else was I supposed to do.]

You will not hear a word from me about it.

Let me help you? I'm no cook, but I know my way around how to follow a recipe.

...of course.

[that gets a small smile from her, even if it's brief for the moment.]

I'd appreciate the extra hands.

Sure, you have them.

[So, kitchen?]

[kitchen time. they make their way there, and after finding a place to set her staff aside she sets the book on the counter, opening it to glance through. there's an elf on the cover, and what she opens it to is a recipe for macarons; she actually has the time to test that cookie advice out now, so it seems as good a place to start as any.]

If you wouldn't mind grabbing... these, I think- [just pointing out a few of the dry ingredients, there.] -then I'll get the rest of what we need.

[He will skim through the recipe for macarons, and then start following her orders.]

[she's content, at first, to just focus on starting off. collecting what they need, getting ingredients measured, directing caleb a bit here and there to help. during a pause, though, maybe while she's beating the meringue together, she finally says-]

I wasn't exactly expecting to find this here. They're-- it's a friend's recipe, actually, I've tried my hand at it once or twice and they never really come out quite like he could make them.

[it's just- something familiar, in that way.]

Ah. His own cookbook was in the library?

[A little curious, though still paying attention to the recipe.]

It was, yes-- unexpected, but not an unwelcome surprise at all.

[she's just continuing to work while she talks, here.]

[He will continue to work while she talks, too.]

Interesting. I haven't found anything of the sort, personally, but maybe I need to dive a little deeper. My, uhm, passions in arcane research sadly appear undersupported by this library, I'm afraid.

[she glances up to him for a moment there, curious.]

What sort of research? I can keep an eye out, in case I happen to come across anything there.

[He can be found after trial sitting outside somewhere, or walking around. He will nod hello to Lucretia when he sees her, though.]

[she nods back, and after a moment-- she'll come take a seat, too.]

...You were likely right, but- well, I suppose I was still a little tightly wound there.

[sometimes you've been wracking your brain for nine straight hours over murder and you make some decisions.]

I don't know whether or not I was right.

[Though he'll let her sit without protest, making room.]

These things are difficult. Maybe minutes to go isn't the right way, though.

No, it wasn't, but I was hoping for-- more points of comparison, at the least, rather than something as decisive as we already seemed to have. I think there should be something to the numbers, but we just don't have enough information to work from yet.

It might just be that there are multiple ways to get an extra voucher. Doing the correct task, something like that.

I don't think many people suspected Rupert. Maybe there weren't many vouchers given for voting correctly.

Maybe not. I need to consult Sagihara about his results from last week, and see if there might be a link to being-- pulled away, somewhere. It could explain Claude's, if so. But I know it isn't choosing the correct task, because I chose the same as someone else from my dorm and still ended up with one more than they did.

I do have to wonder if they gain any for getting away with it.

I can't help but continue to suspect Ichinose. She earned seven vouchers this week, claimed to turn in two extra credit.

I had five, counting one extra credit, the task, the debate, and speaking with Chad-- then the last one that may be for a correct vote, unconfirmed. If that's not it then I don't know what to tell you about how it could have happened, there's nothing I can think of that I did differently.

If she did turn in two extra credit and had one potential extra, that would still only be six even if she did everything else.

Possible some extra credits are worth more, the cruel ones? But. . . I don't know.

I think the likelihood of us solving anything definitively this way must be slim. You had Byleth, Leo had Otome, but. . . I could see either of those being involved, but would stake nothing on it. Still, Rupert shows that following the vouchers is a worthwhile exercise.

[He pauses for a second.]

One thing to note . . . I was wrong. Rupert killed Bradley. So your theory about Caiman may not be wrong.

Edited (new info) 2021-06-27 15:16 (UTC)

[-oh. she looks surprised at that, for a few moments, before she just. reaches up to rub at her face. fuck.]

... I had a feeling it was Bradley, when I brought Caiman up, but-- damn it.

[she wouldn't mind being wrong if that at least meant they had some idea of what happened to him. fuck! but after a moment she exhales, composes herself.]

...as for the numbers, I think it can't be too straightforward, or else it'd be easy for us to just have several people spread some votes out over multiple suspects and try to get a hit. But it can't be-- I don't think it's entirely impossible. Following them does help, though, and I'm wondering if we can buy information, then whether it might be worth asking if we can get a better idea about that.

[if nothing else-- maybe it would help them out in odd cases like ichinose.]

I guess that's mainly a question of whether that's more important than anything else we're working on, which-- maybe later.

Edited (phone tagging,) 2021-06-27 15:29 (UTC)

Mm. Following them seems to be worthwhile, but maybe doing it during trial is a mistake, I feel I wasted time.

[Anyway. As for Caiman.]

He is certainly capable of murder, even without compulsion. I viewed him as a threat to me at first. But we all have suspect things we have done. [. . .] I admit I have a little sympathy for him, because he has been treated badly by magic users and he has clearly had his memories tampered with, and to me these are ugly things. But I wouldn't rule him out or refuse to pursue him.

I only, uhm. Worried, that with the little time we had left. . . some will have prejudices against a person who looks and acts like he does, and will find it easier to vote for someone like that than someone like Rupert.

He hasn't seemed to me like he would want to just-- murder someone, here. That didn't exactly factor in. But I don't doubt that you're right about how others might think.

[her brow furrows when he mentions the mistreatment and tampering with his memories, though, a little troubled.]

The timing was not great, I'm well aware of that, and I doubted enough others would take a less concrete suspect with Rupert right there. Mostly I just hoped that if it was right, there would be enough to work with after the fact. If he's already been through those things, though, then to be involved here...

[new ways to dislike this place every day, honestly.]

I have a bit of an idea to test your theory, at least. I think I can, if not clear him, provide a piece of evidence that shows he's unlikely to have been the culprit. Give me a couple of days.

If you could, then- it would be appreciated. Anything that might help narrow it down or eliminate someone who could have been involved is helpful.

[if she's wrong, then she's wrong, and there's time to consider other likely options.]

[outside seems to generally be a good option, so! here we are. it's snowing, and she's out here in it just sort of-- watching the snow fall, for now. it's kind of peaceful.

he'll get a nod in his direction and a little wave, though, what's up.]

Are you enjoying this, or is it not really your sort of climate?

[He waves to see her, begins to slowly walk over in her direction, bundling his scarf closer around him.]

I wouldn't say enjoying, but I am used to the climate, it doesn't bother me. Cold winters where I grew up.

[He will come to approach her, perhaps to strike up a longer conversation, but instead a memory plays.]

[she's about to answer when that hits, and it's-- a lot to take in, after experiencing it, leaving her quiet for a few moments. this isn't the first time it's happened, she knows the deal at this point, so she shakes off the moments of disorientation that follow as she readjusts.

she looks at him a little curiously, but all she says at first is-]

Well, I might not have the entire context, but-- I do think they were right, about that being the right call to make.

Ah. . .

[He massages his temple. That was a terrifying memory at the time, but in retrospect that. . . feels so long ago. In a way, it feels like the moment he became the person he is now.]

It was risky, but in retrospect. . . having the ear of the Bright Queen let us stop the resurrection of a betrayer God, and ultimately to convince her to enter peace talks with King Dwendal. So. . . I think so.

Even if it hadn't worked out that way-- as near as I can tell, I think I'd have said the same about trying it.

[given the situation at the time, given the position they were in-- yeah. sometimes you just have to take the risk, when the alternatives are what they seemed to be.]

Perhaps so. I think some of my friends were a little cross about it. . . we hadn't discussed doing this, exactly - that maybe we'd tell them some of what we know, but. . .

[He laughs a little.]

We had no idea what that thing was. We were afraid we were giving them a weapon that could destroy our homeland. I know a little more, now, and . . . possibly, but there's little danger of that. The Bright Queen can be rather fanatical, but to them the beacons are no more than an object of worship; it is only my own home that sought to weaponize them.

You don't always get the opportunity to come to a consensus, on these things. I've come up against that myself.

[not in the exact same kind of situation, but there are always times where unexpected things happen, and points where you just try to make a call.

there are points where that turns into an argument, too-- she can't help but think about lup's objection in the robot world.]

-having said that, I guess I can also understand being a little bit cross about-- you really had no idea?

[but there's not any judgment there, or anything.]

We. . . found it in a sewer, if you can believe it. We happened to be down there on our way back from a small job, and we ran into an agent of the Krynn, who had come to steal back this artifact that the Empire had stolen.

[He shrugs.]

At the time, we wanted nothing to do with this thing; all we knew was it would be a target on our back. So we gave it back to this Krynn infiltrator, only to hear him be captured and slain by crownsguards.

I suppose all of us. . . especially those of us who grew up in the Empire. . . all we knew at the moment is we did not want the Empire to have it back. So we stole it, and kept it with us. It resisted most identification magic, we could learn only the barest information on it from the libraries we could access. All we knew is that when we looked into it, we could see into - I wish I could show you. It looks like gazing upon reality itself, seeing different possibilities. And after looking into it, for brief moments at a time, you can rewrite possibility just a little. Just to an infinitesimal degree.

The things that could be done with it if it was in a more potent form are of course dangerous, but. . . not one has yet unlocked that potential.

You can rewrite possibility? How does that-- I guess I don't expect anyone would fully know how it functions, that's sort of how these things tend to go, but that's... I wish I could see it, too. It sounds a little like something from my own-- well.

[a brief pause, a careful rephrasing.]

Certainly it isn't from our own world, we knew that much about it, but we encountered something similar. It was only with-- years of study that we were able to truly start learning much about it and its properties.

I can't. Or, that is to say. . .

[He shrugs a little, mildly self-deprecating.]

It is possible to tap into that power. The extent to which I can do it with spells has always only been. . . um, say I used my spell on poor Mr. Mollymauk the other day. He'd have been granted a mote of possibility, and when he hit his head too hard on the coffee table, he could seize on that and change something, make it possible from him to have hit a little less hard. It only works on moments of chance in the seconds of their aftermath. [In other words, it lets you redo a bad dice roll.]

On one occasion, on one occasion, in a great emergency. . . a colleague of mine and I did something a little better. . . managed to suspend time in a small space so that we could recover our spells before a fight. But that's the extent of it.

Listen, one occasion or not-- if you were able to do something like that, then I think you shouldn't sell yourself too short, Caleb.

[working with that at all is impressive, given the type of power it sounds like it holds.

before she can ask anything else about it, though-- it's her memory that they both go through, this time, a story of hers.]

[Oh. He's a little surprised but he shouldn't be; this seems to be an occupational hazard for most wizards he has ever met, getting trapped by their own hubris in dangerous places. But to hear it told is still a little jarring.]

Oh. All for the sake of. . . that relic?

I-- yes, although... not for the sake of that relic, specifically.

[a slight shake of her head, there, as if clearing it after that memory.]

For the sake of removing it from the world.

Ah. So a little bit more noble, rather than self gain.

[He smiles a little at that.]

Something happened to a friend of mine like that. But only a few years.

I'd like to consider it to be.

[she manages a small smile back, there.]

But it must still have been-- strange, for them, even if it was only by so much. I'm sorry they've had to experience it.

[even if it doesn't seem like much, a few years can make a difference.]

It must have been strange for you, as well.

It's... well, somewhat, yes. It takes some time to adjust to a different age, while no one else necessarily knows there was ever any difference. Not many do know-- no one else, here. Somehow everyone's been polite enough not to question how my age was written.

[a slight sigh, with a brief shake of her head.]

Physically, it's not so difficult-- as I said back there, that loss doesn't bother me so much as just... having two fewer decades to work with.

Will you tell me more about these relics of yours, that you are sacrificing so much for. . . ?

[she has to think about that one. if this week has made one thing clear already, it's that she might not get to decide just what to let people know. it might not be the worst idea to just... take it into her own hands, here and there.

so eventually, she does answer, starting off with:]

They've been recovered, now, but there were seven relics put out into the world, each with different capabilities and a focus in a different school of magic. The Animus Bell, of course, but also the Oculus, the Philosopher's Stone, the Gaia Sash, the Temporal Chalice, the Phoenixfire Gauntlet... and the Bulwark Staff.

[Hmm. Yes, some of those names pop out to him as especially interesting. Philosopher's Stone, Temporal Chalice, Phoenixfire Gauntlet. . . yeah, he wouldn't say no to those. Especially that chalice. You ever see someone get a little bit of a thrall from a universe away?

But he sort of shrugs it off.]

And you are collecting these powerful things to remove them from the world, so they cannot be used to harm anyone?

That's a large part of it. The relics-- they were capable of so much more than we thought they were, we knew they would be powerful, but the things they could do... the Gaia Sash drowned an archipelago in minutes. The Phoenixfire Gauntlet left nothing but circles of black glass where there used to be cities. The Oculus could create a black hole and eliminate a whole army-- entire wars were fought, over these objects.

[so, not so great in practice.

one or two people know about this, already, have at least some of the pieces, and there might be some element here of knowing that if she obscures the truth her memories could just put the lie to it. but she's already mentioned she made her staff, and she has some hope that he might kind of understand.

there are still parts of this she won't ever want to tell someone willingly, but there's no need to bring those up.]

They were created in the first place to stop an entity that seeks out their power source from ever finding our plane, to separate it out across the seven of them and hide the Light that we put into them. The original thought process was that this was a better option than seeing the world destroyed-- and I objected to that when it was first decided, too, but it isn't the only way. I couldn't... it just couldn't continue, not when there's still an alternative.

[It's a little hard to follow, since he can tell there are pieces she's leaving out, but he understands a little. He understands the idea of creating something and learning it's too dangerous to continue to exist.

He nods.]

I can, uhm, see from the history of my world why this would have gone badly. Nothing like powerful magic to tempt people.

Do you have plans this evening, Caleb?

Not at the moment.

How about we plan a date, then.

I'd be glad to. Do you have something in mind?

That depends at least somewhat on what you'd consider ideal, I think, I'm sure we can work out both.

I considered taking advantage of some of the newer features on campus before the weather changes, though.

Ice skating, perhaps? Do you know how?

Exactly what I was thinking. It shouldn't be so hard to pick up.

I will meet you there?

[And true to his word, she will find him a little later at the rink, bundled up in a coat and fluffy scarf.]

[she does message back a confirmation, she's not leaving him on read just bc i personally don't want to do more html-- but she'll be there shortly as well to meet him, also dressed for the weather.]

Have you done this before?

Not since I was a boy.

[But giving her a small smile anyway, getting some skates, giving them a look over.]

And ours didn't look quite like this. But it should be similar?

Well, I'll be counting on you for that, then, but I think we'll manage just fine.

[she'll find her own pair of skates, meanwhile. there had to be an ice world somewhere in that century, she's pretty confident she will not just fall the fuck over here.]

[Okay. Awkwardly trying to step out on the ice, like he's trying to remember how to do it, and then turning and extending a hand?]

[she takes that hand, holding on to it as she joins him on the ice-- her steps are cautious, and she manages it just fine.]

I think we can consider step one a success.

Not too shabby. Now let me see if I remember how to stay upright.

[He's being a little modest here; he's awkward and ungraceful, but he knows how to glide.]

You're doing a little better than that, Caleb.

[she's a pretty quick study, more or less keeping up, although also kind of awkwardly at the moment. getting across ice is not completely new, but the skates are.]

Well, it's an attempt.

[A small smile, trying to help her along a little, but as they make eye contact, there's a memory.]

[it's a pretty rough one.

she'd already been holding his hand, but when she comes out of experiencing that she's reflexively holding on to his arm to stay upright on the ice, her expression horrified at first. all of that-- she's almost speechless at it, but she quickly turns her focus and concern back to him.]

Caleb, I- god, I'm sorry, are you all right?

[it's been terrible for their memories to leak everywhere anyway, but forcing people both to share and to relive things like this is just-- even further over the line. she's more worried at the moment about how he's taking that one, though.]

[He sort of stops on his skates for a second, a little wobbly with the memory, but he manages to steady himself, taking a breath.]

. . . Yes. Yes, it's fine.

It doesn't have to be.

[not after-- well, something like that.]

Mm.

[He takes her meaning, nods gratefully, but. . .]

What you saw, the fact of it, is a terrible thing, but it is my life. It isn't new to me. At this point, it is not a secret to anyone, either.

... well, I can understand that. But I do know it can be-- difficult to face these things all over again, this way.

[reliving it again in this way feels a little different from just-- knowing it, normally.]

. . . I have, uhm, a clearer memory than most. It tends to feel as fresh as that regardless.

-both a gift and not, then, but I suppose that would make you more used to it.

[there's a little sympathy, there-- it's impressive, but that sounds like it could be difficult at times, as well.

but, well. speaking of memory... they're both getting difficult ones this time.]

[He sees this memory, he understands what little of it he can understand, but he just looks back at her, maybe a mirror of some of the expression on Magnus' face.]

. . . Why?

[...ah. the bit of familiarity in that is--

she just takes a breath in, slow.]

...it felt like it was the only choice to make.

What we did to the world was-- we damned it by putting the relics into it, even if we meant to save it from something worse. Thousands of people were killed. I couldn't sit by and watch our world keep killing itself over the relics we made, and I couldn't... I couldn't bear what it was doing to us. I knew they wouldn't have agreed to put a stop to it with me because the plan was, theoretically, working, but it was... we lost Lup. She made us promise once that we would never do something like that just because the alternative was worse, and then we lost her to it.

And I'm not going to claim it was good. I know that this is-- it's something I'm going to have to atone for.

[she still remembers, very clearly, weapons pointed at her. you fucking took everything from me.]

But I could take that weight and let them just... be happy, for a while, until the world was safe again, and then they'd remember. I could put a stop to every war over the relics, all at once, and try to make sure no one else died for our mistakes. I'm-- so close to fixing it, Caleb.

[Well. She did say some of the magic words for him. Memories are traumatic for him, obviously, but he looks at her and sees someone who did this out of love. Made mistakes, has regrets. That's hard. That's hard, and he can never avoid sympathizing with someone who just wants to atone. From his perspective, there's nothing more monstrous than the thing he did, so who is he to deny anyone a little empathy.

So his response is gentle, even though he says - ]

You take the weight at the cost of choice, at the cost of your friends as. . . as people.

... I know.

[some more than others-- she thinks of davenport, there, and pauses before she continues.]

But I know who they are as people, and I know that they aren't the people that our mistakes were making them become, either. We've been together for-- over a hundred years, now, I know them, they're the only family I have. It didn't have to be that way.

[Oof.]

I understand family. People I would do anything for.

[And how often has he made big decisions without consulting him, because what was more important was just saving them, and he knew he could do it.]

. . . Maybe it's part of being a wizard. The hubris, ja?

[that gets a reflexive, brief breath of laughter from her, as she shakes her head.]

You know, it just might be. Over half of us are, so I guess you could apply that to-- a lot of things we did.

[sometimes you're largely wizards and you keep having to make decisions to affect worlds and two of you have become liches and you are all doing Fine. it's fine.]

Mm. You know what they call a bunch of wizards in one place?

[A small smile, like he's about to tell a punchline.]

Fucking trouble. [. . .] I think what you did is, uhm. . . well, I can't really agree with it. But it's something I could see myself doing, too.

Fucking trouble sounds about right.

[she manages a brief smile of her own, at that.]

... I hope you never have to make that kind of call, Caleb, I really do. [not on that level or scale.] But- thank you for hearing me out on this.

Do you mind company, Caleb, or would you prefer time to yourself tonight.

[she assumed the latter last night, just sending that brief check-in instead, and after a day like today-- she thinks it's worth checking in again before trying to seek him out.]

I'm not sure I'll be good company but I don't mind it.

You don't have to be. Not after all of that.

Where are you?

Outside, but don't be crazy and come out here. I am near the library, I will go inside.

That's likely for the best. Give me a few minutes, then.

[she'll make her way in that direction shortly, to go find him wherever he's hanging out there.]

[Yes, he is there, sitting somewhere on the ground floor, like he just came in from the cold.]

[she'll take a seat nearby, then, settling in.]

...at least we know.

Ja.

[He sighs deeply.]

I needed to know. What happened to him.

I know. You both deserved that-- he deserved it.

[and it sucks, it really does, that it seems to be the way that it is--

but they know.]

No.

[He says that softly.]

He didn't deserve any of this. All of this blood and pain. . . he didn't want those things.

I meant for you to be able to have a measure of peace of mind, at the very least. To not have to keep lingering on it, and wondering, without knowing if anyone here was the person who killed someone close to you.

[she shakes her head, there.]

None of us here deserve the rest of it.

[not the people who kill, either. not when it's like this.]

Ja. Couldn't have, uhm, dealt with that. Would have just had to kill him.

You may still have to.

But if it comes to it, I'm at least going to try to help make sure he doesn't kill someone else tomorrow.

[it may or may not work, but. that could be a very uneven matchup depending on who has to go up against him.]

Oh. If he survives tomorrow somehow, I'm putting him down after. No more of this.

Hopefully it's not going to come to that, but-- I know.

[where would they even try to keep a huge ass lizard man restrained for an entire thursday night, unsupervised, if he lived. she can't imagine the group as a whole would let him.]

I have a few tricks up my sleeve. I can handle him.

I trust that you could, but this place might not make it that easy.

[making tomorrow an unfair matchup feels like the kind of thing that would happen.]

[actually she's just going to come find him while the polymorph is still a thing because she's not going to wait that long to check on him. so.

she's mildly cautious at least, so she doesn't startle A Fucking Dinosaur, and just calls out.]

-Caleb?

[Hello. He's poking his head out from behind a few trees, sniffing the air as she comes close.]

[she'll consider that a success, then, but she's still careful not to make sudden moves or anything.]

Hello, again.

[there's a relieved little smile, there.]

I'm not exactly sure how much, um, sort of comprehension you have going on right now, but-- I suppose it doesn't hurt to talk anyway.

[The answer is none comprehension. He just watches her.]

[that's fine. she's just going to find somewhere to sit and settle in; she can vibe until he does have comprehension later, she just wanted to know he was still out here and okay. presumably. he did get injured out there but that's going to be a conversation for normal caleb.]

I'm sure I'll have to tell you this again, later, but-- I'm glad you made it.

[He bends down and bumps her with his snout.]

[oh, cute...

she's just gonna pat his snout, then. dinosaurs are very cute actually.]

[Anyway, after a bit he will go back into the woods to be a dinosaur by himself.

They can run into each other a little later when he's a person again.]

[she'll hang out with him til then and then let him do his dinosaur thing in the woods, that's chill!

she's definitely coming to find him after it should have worn off, though, to check on him properly.]

[He's walking around a little stiffly, but he's here. He seems fine.]

. . . Hello.

-good, you're back to yourself.

[she's definitely relieved to see that, giving him a brief smile.]

I suppose you were right about being able to handle him.

[He shrugs a little, giving a smile himself, sheepish.]

Less smooth than I hoped. The, uhm, compulsion to fight is also a compulsion to fight the way they want. Throw silly objects and punches. Otherwise, I would have cast right away, no problem.

You did help me out, so thank you.

I did say I wasn't going to let him kill whoever fought him. He had an advantage, in that kind of fight.

But I'm glad that it-- I wasn't sure it was going to work. It was only a theory, when I talked about it with Hugo.

I thought about it before - turn someone into a bird, let them fly off. Assumed it wouldn't work.

. . . Hugo? This is Chad?

It is, yes. We've met a couple of times now.

I was trying to come up with something similar with him before, when I first got the barrier-- but as far as he knew, trying to save both parties was only going to delay the inevitable.

Is Hugo an arcanist? I'd been curious.

Makes sense that you can't help both.

It does, but I still-- I had to know.

[she shakes her head, at that. at least one of them can be helped.]

He uses some kind of magic, I'm pretty sure of that, but he hasn't been himself long enough to ask much about it. I've only seen it happen.

Mm. I had the feeling the first time I met him - the real Hugo. It makes sense of a few things.

It does.

He was able to hold onto himself longer, earlier, so it might be easier to ask about it.

[Well, let's just say they're here in asking strangers personal questions class, because this is a good prompt to start with. He's radiating some discomfort on top of just general sadness, but he'll try to read off one of the prompt questions.]

What was your relationship with your family like?

[He's so awkward.]

[there's definitely some mutual sadness happening here, a little awkwardness thanks to this class-- under that the vibes are just. stressed and tired, primarily.]

Well-- that depends on which family, I guess, but I'm just going to go with the one I've actually seen in the last... hundred years or so? Not, um, especially great recently, but prior to that we were-- we all took care of each other.

[and there's a sort of loneliness, there, talking about them, but she glances at the prompts and moves on from that.]

What's the worst fight you've had with someone?

Hmm. With a friend?

[If not with a friend, then that's a longer list.]

Certainly one of the many arguments Beauregard and I have. Used to have? We still argue, of course, but we don't get in the type of fights we used to. Uhm. There was the fight we once had over the bowl, but it feels a bit silly now.

I suppose there was a time she had, um, negotiated with a wizard we'd met to use his tower. I'd been a bit cross with her because I hadn't wanted to send my familiar in with her, I assumed he'd see right through the deception.

In trying to explain my hesitations, I suppose I insulted what she thought was quite a successful effort to convince Yussa to trust us. But to me, back then, I was um. . . fairly terrified of coming into contact with anyone in the old circles I used to run in. He'd asked me a few questions about my training, and I'd become convinced he might know my old teacher or someone else who would be looking for me.

So. . . we had a big argument over it, I think she could not understand my reasons for caution then, thought perhaps I was overly paranoid. And maybe I was, because Yussa has been quite the reliable ally.

Maybe you were, but you can only really know that for sure after the fact.

[it's the kind of thing that she can get, honestly, and with what she got from that memory about what his teacher did-- she really couldn't blame him for being worried about that at the time.]

In those circumstances it can be-- difficult to just put your trust in someone else's efforts and decisions, but I do think becoming able to do that is important, too. You said 'back then'?

[it sounds like there's been some improvement on that.]

We understand one another a lot better now. Still talk past each other sometimes, but. . . know how to make it right.

[a small smile, at that.]

Good. I'm glad that you do, then.

I'm sure I could pry more, but- I think it's your turn?

[if they're both going to be dealing with this class then it's only fair.]

Of course.

[Squinting at the sheet. Some of these questions are so bad.]

What is your. . . view on religion. . .

I wouldn't really say I have one, personally. I know it's-- important to others, to have that to fall back on and believe in, or to guide them, but... it's just not a leap I think that I can take. I'm more comfortable relying on my own decisions.

Where I'm from, no question that the Gods are real, and they do great things for the friends of mine who have faith in them. But it isn't for me.

It's the same where I'm from, too. Merle has been a cleric of Pan for as long as I've known him, and I know what his god has done for him-- maybe I've been a bit jealous at times of the ability to... to derive that kind of comfort from faith. But it's just not for me either.

Mm. One of my friends is a cleric of the Wildmother. He believes so much in fate - he always trusts in her to deliver him to where he needs to be. I don't think I could live that way, but. . . another friend of mine was in a bit of trouble with a dangerous demi-God. She interceded to help him, and it seems to have changed him, made him someone new, and good.

I suppose there's something appealing to that in me even if I don't know that I could put my faith in something that way.

[there's definitely more warmth to her emotions when he mentions that help, that his friend was changed for the better through it, a small smile on her face at it.]

Well, for those of us who can't-- it's something to support in others, I think.

[looking back to the prompts, there, considering since it's her round.]

Did you ever want to do something else with your life-- an alternative you'd have pursued, if you didn't study magic?

[He will come find her after she has been healed a little and has presumably gotten some rest, but before curfew. Is she at Spring? I assume someone will let him in.]

Lucretia. . . ?

[she will probably move to spring before curfew, yeah, and probably we can count on sakyou or someone to be a bro and let him in. she'll be in her room, but it's not locked-- she's just here at the desk, going over her notebook.

the emotionshare vibes are... a little weird. feeling unsettled probably tracks for having been on one of these field trips, but there's a lingering anxiety and uncertainty here, background confusion, an uncomfortable sense of solitude.

she looks up when he speaks, but the confused feeling spikes, a bit? it's not that she doesn't recognize him, though, she feels a little relieved to see someone familiar.]

. . . Are you alright?

[There's concern from him, but also a sense of urgent curiosity. Also, does she have the red eyeballs on her?]

[she nods! her emotions absolutely don't feel like she's alright, but she nods anyway.

they aren't currently visible, not fully, but the bandages around her throat and her left hand do seem like the wounds underneath have been starting to bleed through a bit, and those spots definitely are shaped kind of like those wounds could be eyes, yeah.

her phone's on the desk right next to her, but she's reaching for a pen instead and searching for a blank notebook page. she doesn't seem to know roughly where to look for them, though, just flipping through with a faint feeling of frustration.]

Your voice.

[Immediate concern!]

That wasn't healed? Here.

[He's handing her his notebook, from his book holster, and a pen.]

[she gives him a grateful nod, there, taking it carefully-- she's got her right arm in a sling still, so she has to set the notebook down to write.]

The wound was mostly healed, but it was deep to begin with. I can speak, it's just still a little painful.

[and she can write about as fast, anyway, so it's easier not to push it. after a pause:]

They all keep bleeding despite the healing.

All of the wounds? Or only the eyes?

[. . . He peels off the glove on his left hand, showing her the red eye tattoo there.]

[she looks it over, brow furrowed.]

Only the eyes. They looked more like yours, but after we left they turned into injuries instead.

I feel like it's stating the obvious at this point, but I thought while we were there that it might be related to the three of you.

[hesitation, for just a moment, and whatever she's thinking of shifts her emotions more into discomfort, before she writes:]

We never saw him. But I think we must have heard Lucien, in there.

[His own emotions are slightly wary, but also curious. There isn't really a stab of grief or pain to go with it.]

It seems likely to me. Will you tell me what you saw?

[she nods, but there's another slight pause before she writes.]

If there's anything specific you want to know, I can start there, but I don't know if I have all the details right now.

[also i keep fucking forgetting to mention it but. there's a jar with a whole wood arm in it on her desk now too and it has definitely been there the whole time.]

Edited 2021-07-09 23:06 (UTC)

[He frowns, feeling a little guilty. And he'll glance at that arm vaguely curious, but I know what it is and I'm screaming.]

. . . I'm sorry, I don't want to pester you with questions when you're recovering.

[she shakes her head, at that.]

No, you don't need to apologize, it's

I think you have more of a right to want to know. It isn't that I don't want you here, either.

[a longer pause, the pen tapping against the page-- a little anxiously, maybe. once again she feels kind of uncertain, unsure of something.]

I just can't exactly remember how I got where I ended up, in the end. I know what happened just before I woke up, I know we were separated and I remember what happened right after that, but the details just aren't there. A lot of details aren't, at the moment.

Ah. Well. . . Beauregard had lost memories in hers, as well. They may come back?

[He's frowning, reading the words she's writing carefully.]

Perhaps you could just tell me what you remember? Or anything about Lucien, or the eyes?

Maybe. This doesn't feel quite like anything they described.

[the uncertainty is a little stronger! but she's moving on.]

The eyes started happening fairly early on. We were in a large study, with stained glass windows, and occasionally if we touched anything in there, one would just... appear. But we were able to find a few useful items there, at least.

It happened again in the next room, when we were attacked by

I assume they were people we knew. The others all seemed to. I think I did know her, at the time.

[the bad vibes intensify again, but this time it's an odd, almost confused sort of grief? like she's feeling it with no real idea why that is.]

[Ah. Well. He seems a little sad for her, too. He doesn't want to press on that wound.]

. . . You may recall in time. The stained glass windows - what did they look like? Mollymauk's coat, perhaps?

[I'm going to cheat a little bit because I'm phone tagging: these are what she describes, and does a pretty good job of detailing it, rapidly noting them down.

then she looks (and feels) a little surprised about that? kind of hums like 'huh, okay' at it. apparently she does have a pretty good memory for detail when it's not erased, that's probably useful.]

Ah.

[She doesn't need to describe it for long before he's nodding in understanding.]

Ja, they represent the nine schools of magic. [. . .] This is my tower. Uhm. . . a variation on Mordenkainen's Magnificent Mansion of my own devising, if you're familiar with the spell. The windows based on Mollymauk's coat are in the library, but it's all part of the same spell.

[she just sort of-- frowns a little, at that, and the confusion is back again.]

No? I'm not sure why I would be familiar with that.

Ah. You are a practitioner of the arcane, like me. Perhaps you don't remember, for the moment?

[More worry.]

[confusion intensifies!

she taps the pen against the page, anxious, agitated, then with a flash of frustration she just scrawls down:]

Caleb, here is a list of things I know about myself right now.

Apparently I do magic. I have a pretty good memory when it isn't completely fucking gone. I assume my name is Lucretia since you've called me that.

[

she sets the pen down.]

I see.

[The worry intensifies, but there's the thrum of something steady and calm behind it, like he's good at preventing his emotions from running wild in situations like this.]

I think what you are experiencing will be temporary. If it isn't, there are things we can do about it, but for now, it may be best to wait it out.

You know my name?

I think it comes and goes. I talked to Ichiro earlier and I'm sure I remembered everything for part of that conversation, but now I have no idea.

[thanks, she hates it.]

But I do. I know who all of you are. I don't exactly know why I have the opinions I do about anyone, but I have those impressions, sort of, I remember things you've all said and done before. My end of it is just... absent.

To be honest with you I'm working mostly off of what feels right at the time and I couldn't tell you how well it's working, but it's an improvement on how it felt before we came back.

[it just. felt important, somehow, to try to go on with things. to be as okay as possible given the absolute what the fuckery of this situation instead of losing her mind about it. it's a little hard.]

If you write it down, will you remember? Do you want to know more about yourself?

I don't know, but it's worth taking a stab at it.

If you'd tell me, then I'd like to know.

Alright.

[He smiles a little, trying to reassure.]

Your name is Lucretia. You are a powerful magic user. You are very intelligent and resourceful. You are the director of the Bureau of Balance, an organization that seeks to locate dangerous artifacts that will do harm in the world to keep them from doing harm. You once gave up years of your life to obtain one of these artifacts. You are. . . a person who is willing to make difficult decisions if it is for a good cause. You care deeply for your friends and companions. Four of those companions are named Taako, Magnus, Merle, and Lup.

[He considers something for a moment - that wooden arm. Would he have seen it in the Wonderland memory he got?]

[she's writing, as he speaks. noting this down for when she doesn't know it later, with an occasional nod at the facts he lays out. there's a somewhat troubled feeling when he mentions giving up years of her life, that willingness to make difficult decisions-- she thought she had some idea of how old she was but evidently even that was off? god.

he would have seen the arm in that memory though, yes!

she doesn't add anything for a few moments after setting the pen down, but she does continue.]

I still can't remember any of it, even with the reminder, but I'll make a note to myself to read this the next time this happens. At least then I'll have some idea, so... thank you.

[another pause, another sort of feeling of uncertainty. she knows who people are, but parts are still missing; she feels like she does trust he'd tell the truth about the things he said, but she wonders about something else, after.]

I'm not very familiar with the person I normally am, right now, but I want to ask you something else. What do you think of me?

[she's considering one or two of those facts, again. a thing or two she skimmed over in her own notes that she doesn't remember ever writing. she only has those words to know what kind of person she actually is.]

[Hmm. A little awkwardness here, as he's asked to answer something very personal, and he's not exactly good at doing so. But he also understands the question, so he will try to answer in his own Caleb way.]

. . . You are quite important to a number of people here. You are the type of person people can trust and rely upon in a crisis. You have a great amount of intelligence and capability, and as best I can tell you use that for good. You have made mistakes, but they have been made out of love, and you have worked to correct them.

So I think highly of you, I suppose.

[the initial awkwardness gets an apologetic sort of feeling, but she doesn't take the question back-- and it does feel like it's somewhat reassuring, to hear. if that's who she is... okay, well, she doesn't feel like the most reliable individual in the world right now when there's so much she just can't remember, but it still helps to hear.

after a few moments of silence:]

I might not have the full context, right now, but-- I do know enough to feel as if I think highly of you, as well.

[the sense of it is there, even if she can't remember things like why she felt like there'd be some understanding, here, she had no idea they were Both wizards until like a minute ago.]

[There's a little bit of discomfort there, but he seems pleased all the same.]

Thank you, Lucretia. I'm glad to hear it.

[the discomfort gets a bit of worry, in return.]

Of course.

I'm sorry, I know this must be... strange to deal with.

It isn't that. No good at taking compliments, that's all.

[Yes, her forgetting is strange, but he's dealt with it before. Nothing to do but make it easier how he can.]

[Where is Lucretia? He will want to talk to her after trial, but is conscious that she can't really walk around easily now. So he will find her wherever he can find her.]

[she doesn't go far, really. the weather's decent enough to stay outside, so she does-- he can find her sitting at the base of a tree, for now. she still feels angry, but there's a side of uncertainty there as well.]

Hello.

[His emotional state is - well, there's a lot of anger there, and doubt, but it's all buried under a thrum of calm tension, like someone taking on a difficult task with precision.]

Do you mind if I join you?

-of course not.

[she exhales a steadying breath and gestures for him to sit. her voice is, as it was earlier, kind of wrecked but she just is not bothering with the text to speech anymore. it's easier now to just speak.]

[He will sit, then.]

. . . What do you think of what she said? She believed she was telling the truth, certainly.

...I don't think she would be killing for it unless she did truly believe that was the case. It's possible that it is true, but if we already know that some of us can be influenced into going that far...

I don't know. Maybe she wasn't willing, and had to be-- forced to believe she was truly helping. Byleth confessed, but she wouldn't give her motivation; they might have been blocked to prevent us from realizing something was wrong.

I don't know what to make of it. Caiman - wasn't able to deny it, even though he didn't remember. But.

[Hmm.]

The pattern is wrong. The ones killed by that group so far have been entirely adult men, most of them without deep connections to the killers. If they truly think they must save people, why not save people they love, save the young and vulnerable?

That's part of why I lean toward thinking this isn't-- it's not truly their own motivation. It may not even be their own decision, they could be... forced into killing someone already chosen for them.

But I can't get past - the power they gave Beauregard can do things it couldn't do at home. Force a person to recall lost memories.

It doesn't make sense. But clearly they want to be caught, and they don't want people like Adora dead.

And when they run out of people who are more acceptable to kill, what then. It gets worse than it already has?

It really doesn't make sense. I've thought-- this whole time I've thought that yes, it's horrible, and none of us exactly want to be doing this, but if we focused on the right people and on trying to get the right answers, maybe we could get somewhere. Figure out more about all this. And she died for that, and that was-- designed to hurt so many of us at once.

What are we even doing here? Trying to catch them just so they can stop?

[she's wanted to believe that they could make this worth it, in some way, but- is it just the same thing, all over again?]

I'm not-- I won't give up on this, maybe we'll still figure something out from today, I just. Caleb, what are we doing.

I don't know, I don't know what to do. We are making these decisions on scraps of information. Otome will certainly try to kill again. Is it worth the effort to stop her?

I can't... I don't think that it feels right to answer this with more death. I know that's what happens when we vote, we already contribute to it, but we can't just turn this into an unstoppable fucking cycle of murder, any more than it already is one. We can't do it.

[the anger has not gone away, but it's at a slightly lower simmer, at the moment.]

Whatever we do, I don't want it to be that. Their partner might still be forced to kill, and then we just have another body and one less option that weekend.

I agree with you. But it is harder to tell that to the person next Friday who wakes up to someone precious gone.

... I know. No matter what, someone loses another person who's dear to them, whether it's her or the person she kills.

[the entire situation is, as always, fucked.]

We'll just have to-- there are the new auctions. More options to try to get what information we can, through having someone back who we can speak with or communication with the rest. Maybe through one of them we'll be able to find something that we need, though... information isn't exactly the priority, with one of those. It'll just be helpful if they can provide it.

. . . Ja.

[He frowns a little at the mention of the auctions.]

Obviously we are, uhm, trying to bid for our friend. That should come as little surprise, though perhaps it will be seen as selfish.

I'd be trying to do the same, in your place. I did think about it, but it seemed a little pointless to compete for the same result.

[he's not the only person she might want back, but he's the one she'd pick too. as much as she liked sieg, she thinks he wouldn't want to come back over someone else.]

I bid for Hugo's, instead.

I've talked to a lot of people who have. I suppose whoever has it, it will be a help.

It should be. I suppose there's maybe a little selfishness in going for it, too, but-- there are people I'd just like to talk to myself.

. . . Mm.

If we don't win, and you do, perhaps you can just. . . talk to him a little bit.

If I do and there's nothing keeping me from telling you-- I promise you're the first people I'm coming to.

[as if she wouldn't pass on messages for molly.]

Danke.

[A little swell of gratitude.]

Just let him know he is cared for and we tried for him.

...I will. I'll remember.

[-a brief flicker of discomfort at her own wording, there, after what happened thursday and friday, but. she's fine. it's fine.]

. . . Have you gotten them all back?

-I have. It continued to come and go, up until this morning, but... I haven't lost anything today, so I think it might be over.

. . . Beauregard mentioned the hag, Isharnai. Was that the cause of it?

[the answer is probably obvious before she even says anything, with the swell of discomfort that mention gets. there's guilt with it, regret.]

...I think that it was, after-- what happened with her.

Ah. I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry.

It just-- came from making the wrong decision. That's all.

Well, if these things are drawn from our memories, then it wouldn't surprise me if we had also made the same wrong decision at some point.

[a few moments of silence, there.]

Maybe. Beauregard mentioned her to me, too. It sounded-- similar, at the very least.

I never really dealt with the hag. I planned to just kill her. But our friend managed to trick her into letting us go unharmed before I had the chance.

Still, there are things she could have offered me that would have been difficult to turn down. That is why I would have needed to end her life as soon as I saw her.

That really might have been the better option.

[another few moments of silence.]

I wasn't going to take it, at first. Saving my world from the Hunger-- I can make sure that happens myself, I was going to just... leave. But she knew the one thing none of us could fix, and I couldn't...

[hello she's going to come find caleb in the void-- no, this is just going to be outside somewhere, we're going to take advantage of this while we have this nice spring weather.

but she's much calmer than she has been, this weekend.]

-Caleb. Do you have some time?

[Hmm. That calm is interesting, yes. He's not sure what to make of it.]

. . . I do.

[she fishes something out of her robes with her good arm, and holds up what looks like a visitor's pass.]

It won't work until the new week. But. If you do end up needing to send a message-- I can.

[Oh. He looks at her, and his expression is calm as well, but his emotional state just sort of crumples.]

I see. Good for you.

[she feels that, and there's immediate worry.]

...I still hope that it's not necessary, I really do. I'm positive you aren't the only ones who would want him back, and I don't know if anyone's even been informed on that end-- I went to see Hugo more or less immediately after I left. [so maybe she just got an early answer, she isn't sure.] But I wanted you to know that it's an option.

[a slight pause, there.]

If it does turn out that way, then if it isn't restricted to myself and Claude-- if I can pass it to someone else for the week, I will.

[He's just reeling a little, that's all. But he knows she's right, he doesn't know for sure, just. . .

There was a little bit of hope that was keeping him going, and it feels like it was just pulled out from under him.]

It's alright. It's alright. Use your item, you have earned it.

It works more than once. I could just use it later.

[she'd rather make sure they see him one way or another, though she's holding out hope it won't be needed.]

How often?

[He asks it softly. His head is spinning with a lot of different, complicated feelings - grief and anger and a little bit of self-loathing - but he's good at multi-tasking through a little bit of emotional turmoil.]

Once a week, each week.

[the worry doesn't go away, not really. but she's doing her best to hold on to what she can, to try to make her own emotions something more reassuring-- there's hope, she's not giving up on that unless someone else comes back.]

Starting tomorrow, I believe.

Alright. Please just, uhm. . . there's no need to delay, this is a useful item. If there's time, just. . . the message I told you before. That we care for him, and we tried.

...there will be time for it. I'll make sure of that, if I need to.

[that's first on the list.]

You're sure that's all?

What else is there to say, really?

[He toys with his scarf a bit, distracted. A little bit of guilt and regret. There is something else left unsaid, but. . . ]

...I don't know. I've found that-- well, you realize after the fact that there are still things you'd have liked to say. Either because you were never able to in the first place, or... because they just aren't there to say them to, at the time.

That's very true.

[Not only for Molly, for every goodbye he's ever had.]

But what is there to say in a few brief words. It's too late for all of that.

It's not yet. Not just because of this-- I don't know if your dorm has discussed yet, but it sounds sort of like we might not be all that far from... reaching some sort of end.

They're still around, and they can be reached. There has to be a way beyond bringing someone back early.

I know. [This isn't exactly rational, he knows that.] We will get them all back one way or another, but. . .

[He sighs a little.] I don't know what we'll be going back to. He died, and his body is someone else now. Something else.

I was going to save him, if we made it. Try, I mean. But it's. . . it feels like everything wants this to fail.

I know. Every time it feels like we're getting closer, it just-- we just find ourselves blocked again. And I don't know how, exactly, we're going to do it, but...

[she shakes her head, there.]

I've seen a lot, in my lifetime. A hundred different worlds. I've seen some-- some pretty existentially horrifying shit, honestly, and lost people close to me, and you know what I've seen happen to my world, but-- I know there's just as much good out there. That there's plenty of it in the people here, despite everything. There aren't-- for all the death we've seen, it's not just because there are that many people here who are killers at heart. I've seen so many people here do their best to try to do good anyway, and there are... impossible things, that sometimes still manage to happen.

[it's something she's trying so, so hard to hold onto. especially after yesterday, how everything felt then. she thinks about how it felt like some sort of small miracle, to know one of her friends was dead and then see him stride in, alive, right in time. how it's felt over the last year or so to finally have the chance to bring more of her family together, and to see the things they've accomplished despite her worries and fears.]

This is just going to have to be one of those impossible things.

...I don't know if your world has studied this, exactly, but what do you know about bonds, Caleb?

[He listens to her and lets it wash over him. He knows she's right, and it means a little hearing her say it when she is a pragmatist, she doesn't choose optimism without considering the ugly facts, too.

So his feelings do seem to settle a bit, like he is trying to hear her out. A little resistance, but it's not rejection.]

. . . Bonds? In what sense?

They're a discovery we made, while studying the power of the Light of Creation. Any two things in existence are linked through bonds, through-- infinite unobservable threads that hold the universe together. There are a number of observable phenomena explained by bonds-- gravity, magnetism, and so forth-- but... the connections we share with others, those are also a type of bond. Sympathy, empathy, affection, love. I've known love to, very literally speaking, hold people together when they would otherwise have lost themselves, and those links that we have to each other, that we develop and treasure, they're-- those are a part of the fabric of the universe itself, and there is a form of power in them.

The ship we used to explore the planes, it didn't run on any kind of fuel at all, it quite literally ran on those bonds.

[she's quiet for just a couple of moments-- maybe in part to rest her voice a second. it's still not sounding great.]

...we've been building them here, too, this entire time. Whether the people we're connected to are living or not.

[It takes him a moment to try to wrap his head around this; he's trying to think it through logically, academically, and it's a bit hard to make sense. But there's a feeling of recognition, when she says love holds people together who would have lost themselves. He knows that all too well. Love is what broke the person he was molded into, shattered him into broken and painful pieces, but love is also what started to put him back together. The notion of it powering a ship is a little alien, but then again. . . he has seen it prevent an entity as powerful as Lucien from hurting them. He has seen his friend use powerful magic, not granted to her by any god, but born out of love for her childhood friend. So. . . maybe.]

That is something else. I'm not sure I fully understand, but. . . I like this idea. It's only that. . . these people are my family. I've already lost one, I don't want to say goodbye to another. I need to put them first.

... I'd feel the same way, if my family were here.

[she's been fine with it, being the only one here. it means she's the only one who has to deal with this, that none of them are in any danger here. that she doesn't have to risk them, or see them hurt in the same ways others have been.

but if they were, she'd have done anything to try to keep them safe. they couldn't lose more.]

[he'll get a message, later in the day.]

I'm glad it worked out.

Make sure you give him that message in person, if you haven't already.

Danke.

You were right, of course. We were outbid by someone who was trying to help us. Will you do me a favor?

Of course. What is it?

Maya and Manwol also bid on this item, I think. If it would be possible to share any messages they had, instead of one from me. . .

I know. I was originally going to be working with their third, but I didn't have enough to offer, by his estimation.

[.... and she didn't think the plan mentioned was going to work out, so. she has done her own thing.]

I'll tell Manwol, though. Maya will know, I'm letting all of Spring know so we can talk about it, but.

I'm also asking Hugo if it's possible to pass along written messages, since we have no other method of communication. If he thinks it might work, then... in that case I'll be asking every dorm to put messages together to send, so I'll let you know.

I'm curious what you offered to Hugo. Before I knew you were bidding, I was trying to help Manwol think through what to offer him. He is a bit mysterious.

That is a clever idea. I'm sure many people would have messages they'd like to give.

I didn't know it was them until a little later, either; I just wasn't sure it would work, from what I was told.

But-- Claude was willing to go to Summer even before the deaths, so we offered that to try to help balance things a bit. Hugo doesn't tend to want them for himself, so instead we made the promise to ensure out vouchers would go to whoever needed them most, but we did include five or so just to try to make him take a few. We also promised the communication ability would be used primarily to get whatever information the dead are able to share, to try to help put an end to all of this, and to prioritize that and sharing the information gathered over everything else.

So with the last part in mind, especially, it's... I'm trying to get them through where we can, but it isn't the main goal. He told me that was why he accepted.

That makes a lot of sense to me. He is pragmatic. And I respect that those are his priorities. Perhaps you shouldn't have told people you won, though. They will be trying to send more personal messages.

I'm aware, but we don't want potential questions to be overlooked because we didn't tell anyone and they knew something we should ask. I've already had one thing brought up that I might have left off, if I hadn't asked for input.

And I do want to try. If the method we're thinking of works, it won't interfere with talking to them about what we need to know.

Ask Mollymauk, too. I don't know how much he can say, but he might have ideas of what to ask.

Or what might be too dangerous to ask. I intend to, later.

[and, after a little delay:]

He says it should work. I can deliver messages if they're written, I just won't be able to bring anything back from their end. So if you wouldn't mind letting Winter know... I'm taking a day or two to discuss and get all this in order. Likely Wednesday.

Gladly. Should I keep your name out of it?

It's not going to stay secret long, I think. Spring will know it's me, at the least, and a few others, and I do intend to share whatever I get.

It's up to you.

[she'll trust his decision making there, it's his own dorm. he'll know better than she does if it's fine for all of them to know.]

It can't hurt to let them know. I suppose you have Summer handled with Claude, and perhaps Manwol at Fall?

If that's a request, then I'll take it under advisement. We actually haven't spoken much, so I can't say I know for sure how that would go over-- it's usually Taichi.

It isn't one, really. Taichi will do fine; everyone gets along well there, anyway. She is a good person to know, however.

I've gotten that impression, from the times that we have been able to speak.

But it's a good group over there. They will share anything with one another no matter who you give it to.

They do seem to be, from what I know.

We've been trying to get Spring to be better about the same thing, honestly. We all get along just fine, but it does feel like there's something of a tendency toward doing things on our own.

[which, okay, she is sometimes one of them. but still.]

I think I'm going to have to take back what I said about Spring generally getting along, but I will at least try to make sure he isn't set on fire.

[rita is so fucking mad]

No, that's okay. She can set him on fire if she wants.

The whole dorm would end up smelling like smoke, is the thing.

Ah, that is a problem.

He is also fire resistant.

Well, the furniture is not. I'm going to guess the floor isn't either, and Hugo doesn't need more problems.

But this is the liveliest it's been here in-- a while.

That is Mollymauk for you. Fjord always had to room with him when we were on the road. No one else wanted to.

I can't say I blame any of you.

It'll still feel a little strange for it to be quiet again, though, after this week. Unless you two still don't want to room with him here.

I'm not sure what he'll do at the end of the week. We haven't discussed it.

Then I guess we'll see if we really do need to look into some kind of roommate agreement, though to be honest I think half this dorm would forget it immediately.

While I'm here, though-- you know, I don't think I ever actually thanked you for the other day. When I couldn't remember.

Ah. You don't need to thank me. I know what it is like to lose onesself.

No, I still think I do.

You're the only one who actually told me who I was. Not that the others didn't try to help, in their way, but.

Hmm. I tried to be honest, but I hope that isn't a bad thing.

I'd say it's definitely the opposite of a bad thing.

In that case, I am happy I was able to be of some help to you.

It was appreciated.

[and because this is prior to the meeting and everything that went on there:]

I do have one thing I want to ask of you, by the way. Spent much time at the festival yet?

Yes, a little bit. They have some of the foods I grew up eating in the Zemni Fields.

Would you like to go again with me, this week?

I would enjoy that, yes.

How about Wednesday, then, if it doesn't turn out too busy.

[... and then this is going to get rescheduled after the meeting happens, why don't they wait a couple days for reasons, don't worry about it.]

Wednesday works for me.

[god, she is so relieved this happened during a period where she knows who the fuck everyone is. she spends a little time making sure sakyou is seen to despite his current attitude toward it, but after that-- yeah, she's definitely going to come check in. up to you whether this is outside or inside but we can assume someone let her in if they would.]

...Caleb? You've been seen to, haven't you-- how are you holding up.

Very much seen to.

[He will sit up from where he's chilling. He's still stiff and sore, but he has changed and he doesn't seem seriously injured anymore. He's sporting some fresh bruises around his neck, though.]

. . . You remember now?

[i am very afraid to ask about the bruises. she'll find somewhere to take a seat, though, still concerned but less urgent about it since he doesn't seem seriously hurt, still.]

... for now, yes.

[it comes and goes again.]

I'm glad. That was quite a scare earlier for everyone.

[He also seems just a little drunk.]

I left myself a reminder as to why I'm here, if it happens again, so it should be... easy enough to handle.

[there is a little slip of paper sticking out of her notebook, a bit. she came prepared.]

--are you sure you're all right?

Not so bad. This one. . . it got rough at the end, but mostly silly.

They seemed to be escalating, for a while there, so-- I guess that's something of a relief. It did seem like you had an... interesting exit.

[God.]

We were all bleeding, so we figured we would cooperate to hurry things along.

And it worked, I'm assuming.

It got us back, certainly.

[He is having a coffee somewhere out near the gardens Sunday afternoon, sitting at a bench and lost in thought a little bit.]

[she's out here as well, just-- getting out of the dorm for a bit, really. but she's not exactly trying to be alone, either, so once she comes across him she takes a seat on the bench as well, propping her staff against it.]

...Caleb?

[Glancing up at her and giving her a small smile. He seems tired, but.]

. . . Hello, Lucretia.

[that's a mood.]

It's been-- an exhausting few days, hasn't it.

...will she be all right?

I'm sure she will.

[Because everyone will, eventually.]

. . . I hear it is rather miserable over at your dorm.

-well, I don't know about miserable. We do all right for ourselves, still, but it was-- pretty quiet, for a while there.

[it'll be quieter again after tomorrow, but.]

. . . I didn't mean in general? You are all lovely people.

[He meant because your tree died?]

Ah- right. Sorry, it's... been discussed a few times, over this last week.

[a slight shake of her head, there.]

In that sense, though, yes. It is.

[He smiles a little ruefully.]

You are all making Mollymauk feel very sorry for abandoning you. But I don't think you can make him feel sorrier than Beauregard can. The same thing happened to me.

[Fall gave him the puppy eyes, but so did Beau, and she won.]

. . . I was very sorry about it, what happened. I know he and Beauregard fought but he was always very, uhm, sweet to me.

We'll miss having him there, but... we all have our loyalties. I wouldn't ask him not to be with people who are important to him.

[and she gets others not being willing to leave their own dorms. she's not leaving hugo behind, either.

the last part has her going quiet for a few moments, though.]

I knew it would be one of us, at some point. I didn't... I hadn't wanted to pursue any of them.

It's the circumstances, more. He didn't want to hurt anyone. But, you know, just a wedge in there, that's all it takes. A lie can do that to you.

[He gives a disgusted huff.]

It can. And it drove that wedge in a way that was going to harm us more.

[god. the fact it specifically made him think he should kill her, after the message this week. after everything.]

Though- some of us, more than others.

It. . . didn't like that we'd decided to spare her.

And I expect it'll feel the same about any other ways we try to do the same.

Yes.

[After a moment, though, he'll reach into his pocket and hand her two letters]

. . . I received these today with my vouchers.

Oh- Claude mentioned that he had, too.

[she'll take those and read them over, quiet for a minute as she gives them a second look as well.]

Nothing useful in his, he said, just a personal message-- I haven't had a chance yet to ask the rest of Spring if they received any.

From Byleth?

[. . . That would make sense, at least.]

I might poll Winter Dorm about it later today?

Crow, actually.

I don't have any myself, either, but the others might, so-- I think it's worth polling both. He mentioned he wasn't the only one in Summer.

I don't expect they'll have been allowed to say too much, too directly, but some of this is more or less what Sieghart said to me.

Mm. So we're nearing the finish line, and the tone doesn't seem. . . it doesn't appear that we're on the wrong track.

Then we just-- we have to keep going, and bear in mind that if we are on the right path, it's going to get harder to stay on.

[He scratches at his arms a little.]

I'm, uhm. I'm worried it will be all like Tsuyukusa from now on.

...it may be. We're going to have to talk in advance about what we're going to do about that, if it is.

The person it happened to before - as far as I'm aware, they confessed after to their friends, and have not hurt anyone else. Sparing them is an option, but that would mean. . .

[He grimaces a little.]

Either volunteers, or we kill whoever is left of Otome's little group.

That's-- more or less what I was told of that person, too. It seems to only happen to them once, so if we do spare them, they aren't a continued threat. On the other hand, Otome's group would be, but I think that we need to leave them alive, based on the message we were sent.

So it comes down to either... voting out those who become influenced despite the circumstances, or-- volunteering, yeah. And that's not going to be easy to agree on.

Selfishly, the idea of volunteers is a little alarming to me. The very people who would volunteer are ones I don't. . . want to lose.

...they're the ones we shouldn't be losing. But to tell you the truth, I think it would be more of a hindrance than a help-- someone volunteers, and everyone who cares about them tells them no, and refuses to see them die. We'd just end up with the people willing to give themselves up trying to make a case for it to the people who don't want to let them go; it only worked for Manwol because we had nothing else.

Even Manwol, she was on the list of suspects.

So then that leaves us killing people like Tsuyukusa because it is the easier way. Not that I disagree. It's about as unfair as drawing straws, but likely less traumatic for the group as a whole.

It might be-- less traumatic on those it happens to as well, in a way. Depending on who it is.

I've been told before that those influenced could confess in order to ask for help, and I've had people preemptively ask me... not to give it to them, if they should ever try to get my help. They didn't want to kill and end up getting away with it.

[Well, they are in pickup lines class. Caleb is being a little standoffish to everyone he knows, but he's paired with Lucretia, so he will give her a very awkward smile.]

. . . Hello. I don't think this is my strong suit.

[This won't work.]

[she seems slightly awkward about this, also? her smile's somewhat more reassuring, but internally it's all a lot more: This is all going to sound ridiculous.]

Well, I think I can forgive that. Going by the material here, I'm not sure you'd want it to be one of your top skills.

[His awkwardness seems a little more on the verge of panic.

Get through this, make a fool of yourself if you have to, and then leave.

He starts looking through his book, frowning, and then very seriously to her says - ]

The type of vegetable that you would be is a cute-cucumber.

[she can't help looking kind of amused, she really can't. it's the total seriousness combined with the terrible line. but she's flipping through her own book, considering.

Okay, some of them are thematic enough, I guess, why not.]

You must be a magician, because-- every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.

[I was right, definitely ridiculous.]

[His thoughts just broadcast how instantly embarrassed by this he is.]

. . . What is this class meant to be.

[mood, this is awkward, her thoughts are kind of similar there, but there is definitely a brief flicker of -still cute though. sorry caleb.]

I think we could ask that about-- well, just about all of them. I don't think releasing bees into a room really counted as a class either.

[That only makes it worse.]

. . . I know. I, uh, I can't really do this. People hearing my thoughts this way.

About as invasive as the memories, isn't it.

[Maybe worse.

but she considers a few moments, there.]

We could- I don't know, maybe if we stood far enough away and just... texted.

[Maybe worse.]

. . . Yeah, we could try.

[she's just scooting to the other side of the room, there, pulling out her phone.]

Hopefully this works out a little better.

I'd meant to reschedule our plans, after last week got... a little chaotic, but maybe this week isn't the best time for that either.

[He frowns at his phone a little.]

So far, it seems better. I'm sorry, it had slipped my mind. I suppose a lot was happening that week.

This week isn't my favorite. [From where he is, a small quirk of a smile.] I am already going to have to participate in a water gun fight. Do I seem like a person who likes water gun fights to you, Lucretia?

The point was because Mollymauk felt badly and we wanted to do something with Spring Dorm. . .

No, it's all right, I think I'd have suggested delaying it either way.

[the timing. the continuation of the timing in this place.]

We were already talking about doing something with Summer when you messaged us, on Sagihara's suggestion, and they all sort of wanted to stick with the idea-- but I don't think any of us want to reject him entirely.

I do think you hurt his feelings a little bit. None of us really care about alliances with other dorms or winning water fights. It was only meant to be fun.

It doesn't matter so much, but be gentle with him. He doesn't like disappointing people and he feels like he has.

Give me a bit and I'll see if I can't work on something. Maya was very attached to the idea of doing something ourselves and inviting him, I think is the thing, so it was more bringing all of Winter into it.

Alright. We like all of you too, though. We would have gone there, but between Malik and Beauregard having a terrible weekend. . .

Just wanted to have the best of both worlds, maybe.

[Since distance doesn't totally fix it, she can have the sense that it's not only Molly's feelings that were a little hurt, but it's over something so silly so he can't own up to it.]

They just see it as friendly competition, as far as I'm aware, or they wouldn't have wanted to participate at all-- for Spring this is agreement to do something with all of you. But I think it'd be a good idea to set up something to spend time with Winter afterwards, too. They won't object.

I'll admit I'm a little surprised, though, I sort of thought Beauregard wouldn't have been willing to leave Winter at all. If I'd known-- well, Malik isn't always that difficult to handle. I think he'd be likelier to keep to himself.

I wouldn't say Beauregard was willing to leave. Mollymauk was just also not entirely willing to go. He felt a little badly, after everything this weekend, to disappoint everyone.

It doesn't matter, we will have you over to our campsite. I just wanted to ask you all to be kind to him. It meant something to me, that Fall still wanted to spend time with me after I left.

[Though the thought flickers through his head, who are you to be saying any of this, why are you getting involved with these things?]

[ah. she's trying not to acknowledge any of his thoughts, she knows he's uncomfortable with them being shared, but she does glance up to him there before she taps out her next message.]

Of course we will. He's still a friend of ours, you know, but he hasn't disappointed us by leaving. We knew it was likely, and I'd never ask him not to be with you two.

All three of you are welcome to come by our dorm too, though, I hope you know. We wouldn't mind seeing you more.

[and on her end, there's: we'll fix it, I'm not leaving it on that kind of note.]

Of course.

[And he'll look up and try to give a small, reassuring smile. Though the accompanying thought is, That isn't going to work, no one will be fooled by you right now. Why are you even getting involved with these things, what is the point?]

[he gets a little smile in turn, though she's quiet while she considers that thought. she meant not to acknowledge them, she's trying, but. clearly this is just going to happen.]

I think it'll work out fine, Caleb, it's good of you to do this for him.

[Ah. He thinks a few panicky thoughts when she clearly responds to something he was thinking, though it takes a moment - she'll get the sense that's not what he meant by 'this isn't going to work.']

[another few moments of consideration, there.]

I know this is uncomfortable, but if you're willing to talk about it, then-- maybe just getting it out will help.

[He sighs and starts to type something out.]

There's not so much to talk about, Lucretia. I feel a little exposed here. There are some ugly things floating around in there.

Usually I am better at hiding it.

No, I... can understand that. There's a lot I'd prefer no one else to really have access to, obviously the memory-sharing incident didn't do any favors there, but even past that, there are just things no one else really needs to be aware of.

I won't mind them. I can assure you of that much. But I know it's preferable for no one to know they exist to mind them in the first place.

[You don't know that.]

It is complicated.

I know.

[the thoughts here are a little busy, running through a couple different things, but he can probably catch: I'm not in much of a position to judge.]

But they wouldn't make me think any less of you. You do realize why I was trying to invite you out in the first place, don't you?

I suppose I thought you wanted to go to the fair?

[I should've expected that, her thoughts provide, but it's like. the fond kind of mild exasperation.]

With you specifically, yes.

[Ah. His thoughts get a lot embarrassed.]

I see. I hadn't realized it was a more specific invitation. I feel very foolish.

In your defense, I could have been clearer about it in the invitation stage.

[like. she definitely meant to clarify later and/or during, but then everything happened so much.]

[More embarrassment.]

I don't wish to be presumptuous here. I would love to join you. It seems like the point at which I should clarify, despite the presumptuousness, that there is someone I have been seeing?

To be honest with you, I did wonder, a bit.

[Good for you, comes across. he deserves this?]

I suppose that's a part of why I didn't try too hard.

[Embarrassment levels are peaked. Though also a little relieved.]

I am feeling incredibly foolish. But thank you.

There's no need to, I think. It isn't as though I'd take offense.

But taken or not, of course I'd still like to spend time with you, if you're willing.

Edited 2021-07-21 02:21 (UTC)

More for being dense, but of course. I would love to spend time with you.

Then we can reschedule.

I'll leave it up to you whether that means waiting until next week.

[No telling how much time there is, in this place, but...]

Sure. We will see how this week goes?

[But apparently both of his best friends plan to lose all their memories of him at the same time so that might be a good time.]

Just let me know, then. I'm sure I'll be around.

[but one of her teens is doing that exact same thing, so we are all going to have A Time this week.]

[Like immediately after trial.]

I'm buying that fucking cat. I need eight, I have four. I'm not asking Maya.

Sorry, this is rude. I don't know what else to say or do.

Then take four of mine. I'll have six left for tomorrow if we need them.

I wish I knew what to do about it, either, but I think

I'm going to have to rescind my agreement that it's less traumatic to vote for the compelled, after this.

I thought I was pretty clear. One of the adults needed to step up. Of course it would devolve into hysterics if one of us actually tried.

Mollymauk and Beauregard wouldn't listen to reason on this, but at this point I don't care.

I am going to go buy my cat and then I will be at Spring Dorm if you will see me?

At least some of them chose one. If more of them had, I'd have accepted it. I think he would have, too.

...I'll be here. I can let you in.

[we can assume she gets the vouchers to him first Somehow and i can go put that in.]

I didn't mean you, Lucretia. Actually, I think that would have been bad, too. Just one of us.

[He will show up at Spring Dorm in a bit though with a big fluffy cat in his arms.]

Well, it isn't as if I volunteered myself, either.

[she couldn't do that.

but she'll come let him in when he arrives, just. immediately petting this fluffy cat, managing a small, very tired smile at it.]

Thank you, Caleb.

[Silber is a cute little cat who is trained to hunt gems. No, he is probably an entirely new cat, not the one Jan made up for our CYOA.]

. . . His name is Silber.

Well-- nice to meet you then, Silber.

[talking to this cat is Fine, she's fine.]

But come in, should we-- we can go to my room, if you'd like to speak.

[Nods.]

We should talk. Though I don't know how much I have to say that will be of any use.

That's-- more or less mutual, honestly.

[she'll lead him up to her suite, taking a seat on the bed. her notebook's been left closed on the desk, staff propped against the wall nearby.]

[He will sit, too.]

Tsuyukusa, Maya. . . it is really going to make us suffer for refusing to play along.

-it is. Results like this are-- the kind of thing it likely wanted, if it couldn't force us to go with the original plan. Just hurting us how it can.

Denji doesn't deserve this. I didn't want Maya hurt, but he's a good kid. Strange, but sweet.

I know. He's... he's been trying.

[...she's quiet, a moment, before:]

He wanted to save the rest of us here. To get all of us home. He tried to sacrifice for that, on our trip.

Yeah. I think it's harder for him to express things than other people here, because he has been through a lot.

Nobody would have deserved this, but-- god. It's still a little hard to believe it turned out this way.

He was the most suspicious, because of the goggles - it was hard for me to believe the phone would have been the most important evidence if all it meant was someone other than a Winter committed that murder.

...there had to have been something else to that, but-- we just didn't know what it was.

I . . . was a little afraid Ichiro was not telling the truth.

[oh. she looks a little surprised, at that, glancing up.]

-do you still think that's a possibility, Caleb?

I do think so. [But I'm only saying this to you because I know you care for him]

He told me later he knew Maya was guilty, but wouldn't say why.

[...god. how much am I going to have to worry over you, Ichiro. she just reaches up to rub at her temples.]

Maybe he was just... very sure of his theory.

He didn't say sure, he said knew. I don't think so. There's something else there, but he is very upset tonight and I didn't want to push it.

...understandably so.

[she just falls quiet, there, though, her thoughts not quite coming across.]

Yeah. [. . .] Whatever it is, I do not intend to hurt him. It disgusts me, the people who are being caught up in this.

...if you're right, then knowing Ichiro-- I think what happened is going to hurt him enough, anyway.

But I feel similarly.

[as always: this place is terrible to people.]

[Caleb can be found outside the dorms, probably near the winter glamping area. If he sees Lucretia, he'll stop to talk to her.]

. . . Hello.

...Caleb.

[she looks more tired than angry at this point, at least, that's... abated, somewhat. things worked out, and they have the others back.]

Hell of a day, isn't it.

Ja.

[A long sigh.]

You were picked this week? By Manwol?

I was, but-- I was only brought in after they'd made their decisions for the week. They explained what they were doing and why, and offered me the choice to turn away.

[obviously, she did not. He ended up needing me there.]

After I'd agreed, I found out who they intended to kill. I was covering for them where I could, but Ichiro and I never knew the extent of what was actually going on, yesterday.

So you are both angry with them.

...I can understand why they wouldn't have told us. Obviously I'm aware that sharing certain information can be-- difficult at best, here, and that it was something that needed to happen, but.

[her thoughts are a bit messy, there, nothing entirely coming across.]

I guess it's... a little hypocritical of me to be angry, frankly.

[she's withheld information from others before, tried to steer things the way they needed to go. hurt people, in the end, by doing it.]

. . . I feel sorry for Ichiro. He should not have been brought into this. But, you know, Luxanna is young, too.

[He frowns a little, fiddling with his hands.]

I would have done anything to be able to be there to help her. So it is a little hard to understand.

Honestly, if we'd had the chance to meet again-- I'd have suggested you.

[a few moments of silence, there, sort of organizing her thoughts.]

I can forgive what they felt they needed to do. I already have, more or less-- we were trying to help them and keep those two alive, despite their best efforts otherwise. But we'd have accepted it, if they simply said there were answers they couldn't give; as it was, we ended up trying to steer things in the wrong direction instead of being able to help with what they were really trying to do.

I would have been a good choice, but I'm not sure it would have been allowed; I was one of the people the Honors Society had picked to tell about their group. But I understand that - that they didn't trust you enough.

. . . Did you know about Maya?

...no. All that we knew going into trial was that they killed Sagihara, and a few details about that incident. Denji was never part of the discussion, before or after-- they avoided us when asked what happened with him.

So the plan, at least on our end, was to focus on Manwol's case and try to find who'd killed her, while obscuring evidence for Sagihara's. We were aware others were avoiding catching Luxanna, at the least, but we didn't want to let it reach a point where either of them was so obvious it couldn't be avoided, especially if we couldn't find the other culprit.

. . . Ja. I knew about Luxanna, but I didn't know whether she really wanted us to keep her from being caught.

Did they ask Ichiro to lie about what he saw in the goggles?

They didn't, no. He always wanted to use them for Manwol-- I didn't want to push too hard to support that in case it was too obvious, but with multiple people telling him to use them for Sagihara, I think he felt he had to lie to justify not doing so.

Hah. It worked by accident pretty well - I never suspected Denji until that answer, when it had to be either he or Ichiro.

...it did. He-- took that harder than I've seen him take just about anything else, here, he thought he'd more or less killed him.

Ja. I can imagine that. He only meant to show it wasn't a Winter, but. . .

...that's why it was a little difficult to reconcile. If they didn't trust us, fine, but...

[logically, reasonably-- one person's suffering for one night doesn't outweigh saving additional lives. she likely would have done something very similar. but it's hard not to have an emotional reaction to it after the time she's spent trying to hold him together.]

I don't think it was easy for them, or necessarily intentional. It's just that so much could have been avoided.

Hmm.

[He's quiet for a long minute, drumming his hands against his leg, trying to think what he's going to say.]

Ichiro is very young, and more innocent than he thinks he is. He is hurting very badly, and if what he needs right now is to be hurt at Dimitri and Luxanna, then I understand that. But. . . it is also painful for me to see, when I know Luxanna has been suffering so badly for weeks and weeks now. I haven't been able to do anything to help her all this time. [. . .] She hides it well, but she is young, too. She tries so hard to be strong for everyone, but being the source of everyone's anger all this time has taken its toll on her.

A little kindness towards her, even if she was thoughtless. . . she has been doing this since Rupert died. That long.

I know. I can't fault the decision-- the results were just...

[a pause, a slow sigh.]

I don't know how much I'm really going to be able to do for her, when she and Dimitri were so intent on taking everything upon themselves. We insisted on taking some of that burden ourselves if this had continued for another week, on being the ones to handle it, and they both refused to even have the conversation.

Well, seems like a moot point now?

Well-- yes. I only mean there wasn't too much of a dynamic there.

Not that I'm not willing to try, I just don't know if either of them is going to hear me out.

Maybe not. [He smiles a little at that, rueful. She is so stubborn. She runs from everyone.]

Anyway, I do not claim she has done nothing wrong. Only that I want to see her find a way to put this behind her and be the woman she was supposed to be, ja? It is a bit painful, when we spent so long early on discussing her ideals. I think she will be someone very good, if she does not remain mired in all of her self-doubts.

[And he takes this a little personally, too. The man I was supposed to be was lost a long time ago, but it is not too late for her.]

You were there, so perhaps there are ways you can help her I cannot. That's all I ask.

I'll find out if there are, if I can get her to speak to me. At the very least-- I'd rather not leave it at what I said to her, earlier.

[lux sure does run though... it might take some doing, but she can try.

that thought of his gives her pause, though, and after a moment of quiet:]

You've done some good here too, I hope you know.

lucretia

week 0; sunday

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

week 0; post trial

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

week 0; sunday...2

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

w1 Tuesday

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

week 1; friday

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

week 1; saturday

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject